Monday- It was a very hard day for me. I made a big decision that tore me but I had to do it. I decided to do a medical withdrawal from all my classes. Yes a week out from my finals. Why did I do a medical withdrawal? Well there was only one class I was doing good in and that is were all my focus was at. My two other classes got put on the back burners and I wasn't doing so well. What made me decide to do a medical withdrawal was when I was trying to do a test. I could not focus at all. No matter what I tried I could no focus on the test. I got up and left the testing center only finishing what I could on the test. I knew it wasn't fair to me to try to continue and be happy with the grades I received. I knew that I deserved better grades under different circumstances. I did my best to try and finish out this quarter with good grades but it just wasn't working. I cried over this and in the end I know I made the right decision. Some people may think I could of completed or some may not understand why or some may think I have failed. I did something I needed to do and it was the hardest thing. No I did not waste 3 months for nothing. One person doesn't know how they would do a certain thing unless they are in my shoes and going through the same thing. Everyone handles things differently and no two people handle things the same way. This was the best decision for me.
Tuesday- In anatomy class we did an eyeball dissection and that was fun. I had my Bone scan that day as well. It was very long and exhausting! I had to check in at 1 pm to get contrast out in me and than I had to go back at 4pm to do the scan. Well, my sister and I go lost on the way to Tacoma General and we were a little late. After the contrast was put in we went to the mall for a little bit and met up with my Friend Sam. We had lunch and headed back to the hospital. The bone scan was way better than the MRI, not as scary. I had to lay still on this bed and not move a muscle. You know how are it is to lay still, be calm and breathe normal? LOL, it was hard for me. I ended up taking a nap during the scan. Go the scan done and didn't get home til 6pm that night. The boys grandparents from out of town got here around 8pm or so. Jamison had passed out early so I just took CJ and dropped him off at the motel that they are staying at.
Wednesday- was a regular normal day. I went to classes and that was it no appointments.
Thursday- BIOPSY Day!! Ya not so exciting. My mom went with me and I am glad that she did. The biopsy on my lymph nodes in my armpit HURT!! I cried!! It was so, so, so, so painful. I could feel almost everything. The pain was to the breaking point of passing out. I usually do well with biopsy's but this one really hurt so bad. My stomach went in knots and I started to over-heat and was getting cold. Not good. I was so glad when it was all over. I was very sore (I still am sore today). This day was very interesting day. Before my biopsy I experienced something pretty awesome. I was sleeping and my sisters were up getting ready for school. My feet where sticking outside of my blankets and they got tickled. I kicked away or tried to kick away whoever was tickling me and I moved my feet. Well, my feet got tickled a second time!! So I stuck my feet inside my blankets. At this time I thought it was my mother or my sisters messing with me but the thing is I didn't hear my bedroom door open or close. Than after my feet went into my blanket I felt a depression next to me on the bed. I thought it was the cat but I knew that the cat wasn't in my room. I rolled over to where the I felt the depression was and there was nothing. I wasn't scared at all. So I got up and go ready. I told me therapist about this and she had an interesting view on it. Many of my friends and family believe it is my angel watching over me and I agree. My therapist believes that I was being told that I was not being forgotten and that all prayers are being heard that during this time of difficulty I will be able to laugh, have fun and enjoy life. :)
Friday- I had my heart scan done. I had to go back to Tacoma General to get this test done. I went in and they put and IV in and took some blood. They made my blood radioactive but some saline in and my blood back into my body. But the feeling of having saline and blood put back into your veins is just so weird! I could feel it! Once everything was in I had to shake my arm to get rid of the weird feeling!! I had to lay still once again and breathe normal. I fell asleep again so my heart rate was as normal as can be!
Saturday- I went to go watch my sons last soccer game. It was fun of course. He did hurt himself but after his tears where done with and encouragement given he went back onto the field. He received a trophy, a medal and an award. He was super happy!! His grandparents, me and his brother went to go eat some pizza after the game. I ended up leaving them to go do my normal Saturday thing. I went home talked to my family and waited for Michael to come. Michael came and we went Christmas shopping. That was pretty fun but I had to stop before I made myself flat broke, lol! We went out to dinner at the Olive Garden and I enjoyed some wine. I sent a text message to my friend Heather and we met up with her and her hubby for some drinks. It was so fun! Lots of laughs and fun. So overall yesterday was a great day and a very much needed one.
As far as today goes I am going to try to take it easy! It is very cold outside......brrrrr......I will eventually go down the hill and go see my boys. Yes, I can not be away from my boys for long without missing them. I do not know how I am going to do it when they leave for the summer to visit their dad. But Sorry for the long post. I will try to be a little bit better about that. This coming week I have a bunch of appointments to go and do BUT thank goodness they are not all for me!! Well I hope you all had a good week and a great weekend so far.
2 comments:
Im glad you did a medical release. Its is a hard choice and those people who think its a cop out lack perspective.
The biopsy sounded terrible. Ouch! MIRs are no fun either. Did they at least give you ear phones to listen to music?
Im glad your having fun and sounds like your surrounded by loved ones. Take good care
Love you,
Victoria
Thank you sister
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