Once AGAIN!!

Once again for the Billionth time I am so horrible at blogging. I do ok for a bit and then I just stop. It maybe because I do the same thing in my life every day. It's pretty much routine, so I feel like eh why write what I did today when its exactly the same that I did the day before, lol. So ONCE again I am here to play catch up to what has happened in my life. Oh the fun and joyous long blog post you are in for! I will do my best to not make it OVERLY long, but no promises!

So my life has done a 360 and then some. I am now a single mom (not my choice at all) :( thats just a long, sad and painful story. So the short version to how I became a single mom is this. Husband came home from a work trip, said he wasnt happy and wanted a separation. He didnt like how I reacted to his suggestion ( I was in complete utter shock, what do you expect?) so now he wants a divorce.

My 2 boys and I moved back to my home, WA and we are staying with my parents. We have been here since this past June. Its been hard for me to deal with all of it but I do have a strong support system to help me through the tough times. I am so thankful and grateful for everyone who is in my life and who is sticking with me as I am going through this big life change. My boys are adjusting, I don't expect them to understand at all because they are only 4yrs old and 11months. We are ALWAYS doing something on the weekends so we are keeping busy. Thank you to my family for keeping us busy.
My cousins have kids that are my sons age and my nieces and nephew are awesome with CJ. He LOVES going to family gatherings because he has TONS of kids to play with. I tell you having a big family is such a blessing in disguise.

So with this life change I am going from being a stay at home mom of 4 years to trying to get back into the work force so I can provide for my Children. Its hard with the way the economy is right now. I am not giving up hope at all. I have my goals that I want to reach and I will get to them one way or another. By boys are my driving force when I think the world has gone against me! I am getting help for myself to help deal woth all of this. This is such a HUGE step for me because I think this is my way of accepting that there is nothing that is going to happen between my husband and I. I need to get on with my life and better myself for the boys and I.

My friends that I have and the new ones I have made and the ones I have reconnected with they are freaking awesome! You know I realized that I REALLY lost who I was! I am slowly finding myself each and every day! I have been able to laugh with all my heart and smile with everything in me and mean it! Yes I am going through a LOT right now and NEVER would of thought that I could laugh, smile and have fun. My friends have done this for me. They are slowly helping me find ME!

Everyone in my life is just so supportive and they are each helping me heal through all of this. Yes I have lost some friends because of this whole ordeal but you know what? They were never really my true friends to began with if something like this stopped them from being my friend. I have met new people and they are just as awesome and fit perfectly in my life. Right now in my life I can say that I am truely happy. Ya my situation that I am in sucks big time and I wish this were different or that it could be Aug 2012 already but I am rolling with the punching and brushing nonsense off of my shoulders.

I KNOW that the future is bright for me! I just need to learn to be patient and accept the help that I am getting. I will be there and return the favor and help to each and every person who stood and helped me out in the darkest time of my life! All I can say is that if I didnt have my family or my friends to help hold me on my two feet I don't know how I would of dealt with this. The future for my boys and I are bright.

I hope this wasn't to long. I will do my very best to keep this updated a little bit better. Til Next time!