Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Realization

Over the years of being with someone for so long you tend to forget about the simple joys of the relationship. Not sure what I'm talking about? I'm talking about the tender kiss placed on the forehead at the perfect moment. That welcomed but yet unexpected hug around your waist when you are not paying attention. The cuddling on the couch while watching a movie or a tv show. Holding hands while in public. Just letting them/her know how special they are.

We become to complacent in the relationship that we slowly stop doing the above mentioned things. The list can go on and on of the little but important actions that we forget to do. To me all of what we forget is what keeps the spark going. Letting them know how much they mean to you out of the blue. Letting them/her know how beautiful/handsome they are. Telling him/her how beautiful you see them without words but with the look in your eyes.

I've realized all of this since I moved out here to WA. I have had time to reflect on the relationship/marriage that I had. I realized that we stopped the cuddling, the hand holding and all the small things that make a womans heart (at least mine) pitter patter or make you feel those high school butterflies. We became complacent in our relationship/marriage and routine took over. There's nothing wrong with routine but still keep the spark going!

What female doesn't want to feel special? To see the look in your boyfriend/spouse/partner's eye know that they only have eyes for you and no one else could take that stare away is what everyone wants in a relationship. To have that and to be able to keep it would be awesome. To those who do have all this and more I think it's just amazing!

Relationships and marriages are a job on their own. If you don't work at it, it won't last. Each person needs to put everything into it. You can't have one person who is putting in 100% and the other only 50%. Both people need to put the same amount into it for it to be successful.

Since my situation I have be able to talk to Chuck's cousin a lot. She is an amazing person and her outlook on life and marriage are just as amazing! Happiness- it comes and it goes. It's something that needs to be worked on in a marriage or a serious realtionship. You need to make yourself happy. If something is making you unhappy address the issue. To make it work both need to put in the same amount of effort.

So I got off track for this post, lol. Go figure I went off and couldn't stop typing. My point is that I want to feel those butterflies in my belly all the time!! I want to know and feel that I am the only one that  that person wants to be with. But I also want the person I am with to feel the same. I want to be able to trust the person I am with. To know that they won't crush my heart. My heart has been crushed one to many times. This last time almost completely destroyed me. I want to feel safe in someone's arms again. I want to love and be loved again. Not to worry if I am making the person happy because I will just know by the site of him and his presence that I make him 100% happy.

Have I experienced the gittiness of the butterflies in my belly? Yes! Of course I have! Do I miss it? Hell Yes I miss it! I have been told that I am beautiful when I felt like I looked liked crap. I have experienced so much and realized how much I have missed it all. Also I realized how much of all this lacked in my marriage. Having the spark and working on making yourself happy is what will keep your relationship strong. Don't give up! Work on it! It's a commitment. Don't just throw it to the side like it's a piece of trash! Remember whether you know it or not you have somes delicate heart in your hands! Take care of it the person seriously trusts you enough for you to hold it so hold it gently. If you have to let the heart go do it ever so gently as well. Don't just go up to them and be like see your heart in my hands? Now see me crush it! It's not cool! Trust Me that happened to me and its not the greatest feeling at all. I almost didnt make this last heart crushing that was handed to me.

Well I am ending this post. If you read this, awesome. Remember these are my own ramblings and thoughts that I have put down. You may not agree with what I say and you may who knows. They may have made sense and they may have not made sense. My thoughts! Til next time.

5 comments:

Jennifer said...

Very well written Jackie!!

Nicole Michelle said...

Well put!

lex said...

So So true... i think most of us are guilty of some of the same offenses...its life you live and you learn....but the point was definitely well made...

J.Jones said...

Thank you! I am glad that you all took the time to read my ramblings! I appreciate it!

Julie said...

You made a wonderful point and no matter how in love you are, it's easy to forget to do those little things for each other every day. :) Thank you for reminding everyone. :) Love you girl!