Friday, November 16, 2012

The Day After

Day 1: This morning I woke up before my alarm clock even went off. I was up at 6am and the first thing I did was cry. I cried for an hour. The tears just didn't stop. Apparently it was something that needed to be done because I couldn't control my tears. Good thing the boys were still sleeping and I didn't have to answer to my 5yr old as to why I was crying. It is an emotional roller coaster and I am trying my hardest not to think of it. I know that there are many people who are wanted to know what the course of treatment will be. I do not know the course of treatment. Once I find out I promise I will let everyone know. I will not leave you all in the dark. I need your support to help me get through this. I am not one to ask for help but I know with this I can't do it on my own.

When I woke up I checked my facebook (what am I to do in the dark, lol) and I had SOOO many posts. All of the prayers, love, positive energy and thoughts are so good. I honestly think that is what is holding me together and not crumbling on the floor. There is so much love being send my way it is absolutely amazing. I have a great group of friends and family. I have strangers I don't even know praying for me, a stranger as well to them. Positive words and love coming from them as well. While I was up this morning I did ask the question "why me?" would you like to know my own answer to my question? I answered back to myself "why not you? You can do this. You can beat it. Its not going to be an easy battle but YOU can do this." I do believe with everything in me that I can and I will beat this cancer that has taken place on my left breast by my heart. I hope that the Cancer feels suffocated with how huge my heart as grown overnight from all the love and support from everywhere! Cancer you are not welcomed here. You are never welcomed in anyone at all. Boy oh boy this cancer sure did pick the wrong person. Wouldn't you think that this cancer would know that we do not deal with this and will beat it to all hell?(sorry for the language)

My hooker friends (no not real hookers, crocheters) have posted on their pages about me. I am just so speechless that these ladies that I have come to known and love and never met in my life are sooo supportive. So many people have already come together for me. I am just so humbled. I can not put into words how Thankful I am for all the prayers from everyone. I have an amazing support system with my family and now all of you! I am beyond blessed.

Thank you all so much for the prayers, love and positive energy and thoughts coming my way. I will be blogging more often on this journey of Battling Breast Cancer. So I will let you all know as well as blog about it. Thank you so much for Prayer for a Stranger who is a Mother, Daughter, Sister, and a Cousin to so many. My family and I truly appreciate it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!


Sprytebyrd said...

Beautifully written, Jackie! I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and I know that you are a strong, powerful woman and you will are bigger than this! Like you said, Cancer doesn't know who it messed with and you will KICK ITS ASS! You rock, girl and if you ever, ever need anything, you just let me know, ok? Hugs to you, my friend and thoughts and prayers from my family and friends are with you.

Anonymous said...

and dont forget an auntie to 5 lol Love you sister

J.Jones said...

Dang I knew I forgot something and it was an Aunt. Thank you :)