Wednesday, November 21, 2012


I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear back from me. I just got back in the house. I had to go take a test before the testing center closed. So we shall start from this morning.

First off I am dealing with a sick baby here, my Jamison. He was up and down all night. I didn't get much rest because my baby was not comfortable at all last night. He finally had a good sleep at around 5 am. I got up I don't even know what time. I got ready, dropped CJ off at school and I headed to school. LOL yes I went to school for about an hour and 20 min. My sister called to see if I had left her but I didn't  I rushed home. While I was in class I could not concentrate. I was absolutely scared. It is seriously hitting me. I mean I know I have breast cancer but it is hitting me of all all the appointments I will have in my near future and everything. Its just hitting me. I am still high spirited and that wont ever change. So it was pretty much a roller coaster while I was in class. It was hard to fight tears but I did manage it.

Now I come home to meet my sister and two nieces because they are going with me. My mom told us that she will be meeting us. We get to the imaging place and I feel out paper work and wait til my name is called. They call my name and my mom is still not there. I go and get in my gown and hospital pants get a lecture about whats going to happen and go to the prepping area. They give me an IV and I am waiting there. I asked if my mom could come back with me and they told me that she could. They go and get her but she's not there so I told them to go get my sister than if my mom isn't there yet. I head back to the MRI room and I get prepared. I have to lay on my belly and not move! The test takes 25 mins. I can't move at all. So before the test starts they let me know that my mom is in the room with me. Boy was I a bit relieved.

So the first round of testing starts. Let me tell you the most terrifying ever only because these images will let me know if the cancer has spread and what not. I am trying not to cry and once again I don't cry but it was so hard. I tried not to think about anything. It was SOOOOOO loud. Than my arm goes numb, and that is not the fun at all!!! My other arm starts to shake and that was very hard to calm myself down enough for it to stop shaking.

The second round is with contrast. I can feel it go up may arm. My whole arm turns cold and once again my other arm starts to shake. Once again I'm controlling my breathing and talking to myself in my head. All along I have music going and they are telling me how many minutes each image is going to take. By the end of the whole process my nerves where just wrecked. My arm was dumb and I was just tired. 25mins of not moving and having so many thoughts go through my head was not fun at all. The radiologist will read the images tonight and I should hear back from the Doctor on Monday. I am not sure which Doctor I will hear from, lol. And apparently I am suppose to have a follow up with the Doctor but once again not sure who. So I am glad that my MRI is done. Now I am just scared to find out what the MRI shows. How far is it? How extensive is the therapy going to be? So many questions are going through my head. Not only do I have all these questions going through my head I only have 3weeks left of this quarter to do. AHHHHHH!!!

Well that is all. Sorry for the long story. I am still feeling anxious about everything. And I'm scared.


Anonymous said...

Jackie I am sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you and your family
Ruth Robinson

Mitch and Shannon said...

So sorry to hear this news, but you've overcome so much already in the last 5 years, you'll beat this and grow strong every day from it!!!

Tammy Potter said...

Tests of any kind are ever easy...the strength of our Lord and Savior is always with you however! I pray that He brings through all these new trials with flying colors...and that our continued stitches of FAITH will help to be a beacon of light in your darkest days my friend! You are never alone in your walk...we will be with you always! In the days ahead, remember these words from Quincy Adamswho said, "Think of no other riches but those of the heart." Everything will be fine, as long as you keep JOY in your heart! Hugs from us!