tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766718394436913222024-02-02T13:42:55.757-08:00This is MeA place where I can show off my crafty side and talk about things going on in my life.J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.comBlogger137125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-34633692013758366692014-04-05T13:08:00.001-07:002014-04-05T13:08:08.751-07:00New Beginnings but hard timesIsn't that just a lovely header huh? New beginnings but hard times....hmmmmm.....let me explain this a bit. Last time I blogged was at the end of February and since then a lot of things have happened. Well it seems like a lot has happened but it may not seem to others.<br />
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March 10th I started school! I am taking 3 classes. My first week and a half my anxiety was extremely high! First 3 days of class I didn't want to take my coat off even when I was hot flashing like hell. It bothered me to no end that I worried what my classmates would think of me. What the hell? I hadn't worried about this crap when I was going through my intense chemo so why the hell should I worry about it now?!?! I have not answer as to why I worried about it but I did. In the end I just didn't care, I took my coat off and if anyone had any issues or comments I was ready for them. I was ready for tons of questions.....still am ready for them. You know what? The questions haven't came and the looks haven't happened! Total strangers looked at me for me!! They saw me as one of them!! Saw ME!! Just ME! Not my cancer but just me!<br />
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Do I have a hard time accepting all of me? Everything about me? Yes, I sure do. Do I wish I didn't have to go through this? Do I wish that I don't have to worry about aches and pains? Yes. When will I be able to completely and totally accept myself? When will I stop hurting? To be accepted for who I am when I don't fully accept myself has been an eye opener. Cancer has been a REALLY big UGLY part of my life this past year. I can't seem to get away from it! Everything I write about is my cancer. I don't want it to be such a big part but yet I can't have it not be. Does that make sense?<br />
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I hurt and I am pained. I can't take a complement. I say thank you but I don't see what others see. I see a person who is overweight, has a deformed body due to cancer, hair that sucks and a body that is always in pain. YES I am VERY blessed and so grateful that I am still here. But do you all know that I am still fighting? Or do you think that just because my hair has come back that I am no longer fighting any more? Is my cancer less of a worry now then it was last year? No it isn't. I can't stop myself from thinking about my cancer coming back or my cancer spreading. I have to keep myself busy and my mind busy. The moment I am not busy my thoughts come flooding in.<br />
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I smile and I do my best to stay positive. I try my best to take control of what I can and sometimes that isn't good. Because I have lost control of my health I have tried to take control of other things in my life and some of it is good and some of it is not so good. I have bad days still and yes they are fewer but still bad. I have days when I want to cry but I have no idea why I want to cry I just know I need too. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and all I want to do is hide under the covers. BUT I also have days that are good! Days that make me happy. But you know what? The bad days suck so bad and when I feel myself sinking into the black hole or I'm in it, it is hard to get out.<br />
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I battle daily with the effects of cancer, treatment and my side effects from my meds. My battle is not over. It hasn't been. I am put together on the outside but if you could just have a mere look at my thoughts you would be astound on what goes on in my head. I keep it together as best as I can for my family.<br />
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I am sorry this post isn't a happy one but more of a gloomy and ugly one. I just need to get this off my chest. I still battle with what my cancer has done to me everyday. It hurts to sit down, hurts to walk, my ribs hurt, my sternum hurts, my mastectomy area hurts, my arm hurts, oh and guess what I can't remember how to spell words or which word is the right one like "I" or "eye".....sounds silly right? Seriously this happens to me. I cant spell correctly when I am taking notes in class!<br />
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Yes I should look at the bright side of things but you know what? Somethings it is just TOO damn hard to look at the bright side! Somethings I am too stuck in my dark hole that I don't see any bright. Imagine that?!?! It sucks and yes I am angry. To get cancer was in my cards and I know this. I WISH I could go back and bug my first doctor over and over again but I trusted her and it got me no where.<br />
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I need control and I want my life back. I don't want to feel stupid because I can't figure out which "I" or "eye" is the correct one to use. I want to have energy again. I want to be a healthy me! I sick and tired of being sick and tired. I promise you that I will write a much happier post.<br />
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Until next time.....see you soon and I hope you have a fabulous day.<br />
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~JackieJ.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-7362000926634222992014-02-27T11:35:00.002-08:002014-02-27T11:35:16.485-08:00Hello Strangers!!I know I am the worst blogger there is out there. I haven't blogged since my BIRTHDAY!! Holy Moley!! One of my followers on <a href="http://instagram.com/urbanhookin">Instagram</a> reminded me that I had not blogged in awhile. I have been meaning too but life just gets in the way at times.<br />
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What the heck is going on? Well to be completely honest back in December I just became to overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. Michael and I had just bought the house and we were still settling in. Christmas was around the corner and that is just a stresser for me and it always has been. Not only did Christmas stress me but I had orders that needed to get done and OUT in time for Christmas. We all know how the post office gets around that time. So once I finished my orders I just stopped. I didn't even make my family anything, which I try to make them something every year for Christmas. I was sad. Christmas shopping wasn't done 100% but eventually I got that done. The day before Christmas Eve I was up til 3am wrapping gifts. Yes I procrastinated and boy I don't plan on doing that again! On Christmas Eve I had my chemo. I was tired afterwards and in pain from my back. So I took a muscle relaxer and ended up sleeping a little.<br />
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I had a great time at chemo on Christmas Eve. I made all the Nurses and receptionists a little gift with two candy canes in a box. They all loved them! I felt like a rock star at this Chemo. My mom, baby sister and one of my long time best friend was there with me!!<br />
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We had a great time. We laughed and it was non stop talking. I had not seen Jenny is such a long time it was really nice to see her and hang out with her. You see Jenny and I met when we went to Medical Assisting School back in 2005 when I was only 21. We clicked and the rest is history lol. I was married to my first husband and she was still dating her now husband. I moved to GA and she stood back here in WA. Then they moved to KY I believe. We are now both in the same State! We still love far from each other BUT we are closer than we have been for a few years! My little sister Sonia had never been to one of my Chemos. She has seen what the effects of it has done to me but I think being there and experiencing it is a whole lot different. It was just nice to have all 3 of these wonderful people with my on Christmas Eve. Thank you for being there with me! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Family. Only missing my Niece</td></tr>
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On New Years Eve we didn't do much. Michael was sick and not feeling to well. We didn't want to go and get everyone else sick. Even though my boys wanted to see their grandparents I was just to nervous about driving back with all the drunks on the road. So we stood home got some poppers and Cj his "special wine" aka sparkling cider, he loved it! </div>
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I had a Muga Scan done and it showed that the Herceptin was slowly taking it's toll on my heart. It wasn't rapid but it was a steady decline every three months. When I went in for chemo in January I was told I was on a two month chemo break to make sure that my heart could repair itself. I also found out that I will be getting a monthly Lupron shot, ugh, they hurt!! I wasn't so sure I was completely happy about this two month break. It is just very weird. It is one thing to go from having chemo weekly to every three week as I am sure my pink sisters understand what I am talking about and how to wrap your mind around and adjust. </div>
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On January 16th I had my chest and pelvis ct scan done and ya you bet I was nervous. I had to take a prep at home an it wasn't to bad at all! When I went into the room for the CT scan a calm just overcame me. I wasn't worried, I just wanted to get this done and over with. I wanted to know the result and I wanted to know them now! I got the result later on that evening!! Here is what the results read: <a href="http://instagram.com/p/jQJyv6Gv01/">No evidence of metastatic disease within the chest, abdominal or pelvis</a>!! I was in shock and happy. I had to have a few of my medical friends read the results and let me know if I was seeing this correctly. They confirmed it. I was awesome, amazing....you name it that was me!</div>
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A few days after my CT scan I got sick. I got a "virus" of some sort. It was really scary for me. I had a temp of 102.something and I went straight to the er. They ran a bunch of tests and I left with my dx as being a virus. While at the er I met TWO pink sisters who worked there. That was really nice. I love meeting survivors it is very encouraging and gives a lot of hope. So I went and just let this "virus" run its course and I was drained!!</div>
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Oh I forgot to mention that we added a new addition to the family!! We got a dog! A beautiful Siberian Husky and her name is Willow </div>
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She is a handful and drives me crazy but she is our fur baby. So not only did we get a dog we also put my oldest son in Krav Maga. He has been having kids not being so nice to him and we had to find a way for him to be able to filter his emotions out some way so we signed him up! We got him a haircut to help boost his confidence and went through his clothes and separated play clothes and school clothes. He is doing great in his Krav Maga and he has seriously grown up more. My poor kid has been through so much his his short 6 years of life.</div>
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Speaking of life a lot has happened with some of my pink sisters and it hurts me deeply. I found out that one of our pink sisters passed away (I miss her dearly), may she rest in paradise, and I cried and was angry. That same day I found out another pink sister's cancer had spread!! Why, why, why?!?!?! I just couldn't believe it. Why is this happening to my sisters?!?! Haven't we been through enough? Cant we all just win this damn battle? Last month I found out that two more pink sister's cancers spread as well. I just can not believe it. Cancer is a crazy disease with a mind of its own and it does change and advance in our bodies. I worry constantly about my breast cancer but I don't let it consume me. I know my pink sisters are strong fighters and I have faith they will fight very hard. Life is precious and one doesn't realize it until its being threaten.</div>
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Back in January my friend Sam asked me to speak to her friend because her daughter was diagnose with cancer at the age of 6. I talked to her and still do but I cried when I found out her daughter had gain her wings. Please know that ALL cancer sucks and we need a cure for all of them No one cancer is easier or better to get. Cancer SUCKS. YOU DO NOT WANT IT! Cancer takes from you and dealing with it does form friendship but I wish it was in another way if that makes sense.</div>
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Ok so back to everything, I went off the edge a bit. So I am still recovering for the lingering cough of the "virus" I had. I am not coughing up anything so that is good, just means I am stuck with an annoying dry cough! </div>
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My two month chemo break didn't end up being two months more like 1 1/2 month. I had my muga scan (heart scan) earlier this month and my heart had fixed itself and went up on the ejection fraction (the amount at which your heart pumps blood out). So on the 25th of this month I saw my oncologist and he sent me up to get my chemo! I am back at my every 3 weeks herceptin. I asked him about my scan and he said no evidence of disease and not even in my spine!! AMAZING! But like I said before I still worry about it coming back!</div>
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I am trying to start school here on March 10th! So we shall see. I need to have some control back in my life! I need to get back on track! It is time to live even more! This year is MY YEAR. I will not let cancer take anything away. I will continue to pray for all my pink sisters and for our health. My brain needs to get its exercise and hopefully chemo brain wont mess me up. It has effected me, I get so upset when I cant figured out what I am trying to say because my brain just isn't working.</div>
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I believe I have updated you all! Sorry for being such a crappy blogger but I appreciate all your love, support and prayers!</div>
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<br />Cancer can suck it!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SuperBowl Champs! Go Seahawks!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love this Girl!<br /></td></tr>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-62088261592015803192013-12-17T08:00:00.000-08:002013-12-17T08:00:03.899-08:00A Year to Celebrate!Yes it is a year to celebrate! No, I am not out of the woods from this whole cancer journey at all. I am here today to celebrate my 30th birthday! A day last year I didn't know if I would see this day (does that make sense?).<br />
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December 17, 2012 I saw my surgeon for a preop appointment and we asked about my PET scan results. What was told to us was something no one ever wants to hear. My PET scan had shown that my cancer had reached my brain. I can not tell you everything that went through my mind. Let me tell you I did see my life flash before me. My main concern was and still is my boys! What would happen to them?! I was told that I would live about 2 years maybe. A lot of what the doctor said to me I did not hear. It was very hard to hear this news. My parents where there with me and all we could do was cry. I was in even more shock. I had just been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and now I was told I would live long. It was all so hard to swallow. This was my birthday gift last year.....not knowing if I would be here today.<br />
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My oncologist ordered an MRI to be done of my brain to see if what was seen in the PET scan was the cancer or not. We had the MRI and we waited for what seems like FOREVER!! We got the results and my cancer DID NOT spread to my brain! A huge weight was lifted off all our shoulders and our hearts some much more lively to fight harder!! We were given hope! It is hard to write this and to relive these memories that seem all to fresh as if it were just yesterday that all this happened.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepMc-pDv5WYyCRhiozICinkSWeSNuF8rx6MF114E_TsI9b8EvtqQqlTGfilHX1ytbZrajGh4SXimnULD83S8pICVVd0F5mWmPwa_5Otta_oy0wvE46cqAJ-1wriAvyt_Aj3iN3h4hcO8/s1600/IMG_6122.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepMc-pDv5WYyCRhiozICinkSWeSNuF8rx6MF114E_TsI9b8EvtqQqlTGfilHX1ytbZrajGh4SXimnULD83S8pICVVd0F5mWmPwa_5Otta_oy0wvE46cqAJ-1wriAvyt_Aj3iN3h4hcO8/s1600/IMG_6122.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRB2h2GaF5KIkWogm8cj8294zKseUepyB8wV4FEwuxUf7eiHF66Tmo6jXsLK7G4YrZy9l6LIrclh56BFF5fYmHsVJaM6ck0PkXj72RbU4GGUhpv27gl6kJO7QIEtqR1OqzWf1lotzALkE/s1600/IMG_5462.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRB2h2GaF5KIkWogm8cj8294zKseUepyB8wV4FEwuxUf7eiHF66Tmo6jXsLK7G4YrZy9l6LIrclh56BFF5fYmHsVJaM6ck0PkXj72RbU4GGUhpv27gl6kJO7QIEtqR1OqzWf1lotzALkE/s1600/IMG_5462.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>This past year has been hell! I have fought hard and I continue to fight hard. I worry every day about what is happening in my body.....but today......today I will celebrate ME!! To celebrate my birth and to celebrate a year that I didn't know if I was ever going to see!! I am still here standing! No I did not go down!! So please celebrate with me. This is a big birthday for me.....ya I am turning 30 and that is all too exciting too but.....I'm still here! Do you not understand how happy I am to be able to say I'm here today when I thought I wouldn't have been last year!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZhSDobq4MhwxAfPyxI0trf-YxDbFnFk7jHMkCd2iWmeVzX8D3iJKO9OFqfZKUdWpOH07n9pnCxmqzU1TBfYFXpQwz-PdcOQLmTKpF74W3g9Z4badUnzcxr0SkNuc4xv2EY2XSQoqI9fw/s1600/IMG_6501.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZhSDobq4MhwxAfPyxI0trf-YxDbFnFk7jHMkCd2iWmeVzX8D3iJKO9OFqfZKUdWpOH07n9pnCxmqzU1TBfYFXpQwz-PdcOQLmTKpF74W3g9Z4badUnzcxr0SkNuc4xv2EY2XSQoqI9fw/s1600/IMG_6501.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm3CSQO3stmxpJVU7g_-trTYHp_EYKYCfCooGo0iGOodQQ4_RhXmYC16dP65xq6y2NEWzFw768Uv93GqMAMJfGt5vOyLxzlj0E8wpuTRpkylj6dNeFYyW5G72somOGiQFBEoCJFT3k1pI/s1600/IMG_6524.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm3CSQO3stmxpJVU7g_-trTYHp_EYKYCfCooGo0iGOodQQ4_RhXmYC16dP65xq6y2NEWzFw768Uv93GqMAMJfGt5vOyLxzlj0E8wpuTRpkylj6dNeFYyW5G72somOGiQFBEoCJFT3k1pI/s1600/IMG_6524.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>It is crazy how something that is so destructive and give your life a whole new perspective. To be appreciative of everything and everyone in your life. To learn how to LIVE in the moment that you get. I have seen who has been here for me through it all and I have seen those who have left without looking back! To see my friends and family who stood up with me and said I will fight right along side you. I will never leave your side! I wish I could gather us all in one place to celebrate today together. This is a big deal to me and I am sorry if you are one who may be rolling your eyes. One will never know how important it is to live to see one more year when your year last year was threaten and it still is with uncertainty.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx8hFoX-2f3w1Cv9sxIap8600PfAoR0mdrJvYVBIgoiP9P5M1UjcUaKUnhBg0xigl6_YLAQNoBNNaWymuJxqL3fRAU3J0Sb0I2UZbZSFi6LIoGF9gCBTPTFmMI5q9AE843_Wtdrf01UQE/s1600/IMG_6777.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx8hFoX-2f3w1Cv9sxIap8600PfAoR0mdrJvYVBIgoiP9P5M1UjcUaKUnhBg0xigl6_YLAQNoBNNaWymuJxqL3fRAU3J0Sb0I2UZbZSFi6LIoGF9gCBTPTFmMI5q9AE843_Wtdrf01UQE/s1600/IMG_6777.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a>There are many people who have supported me and have given me strength when I was too weak. There were days that I cried and asked why me? I didn't want my parents to have to take care of ME their DAUGHTER.....wasn't it suppose to be me taking care of them when they got older? We have had many triumphs throughout this year. I will name some that I can remember there are probably others that I can not remember and I am sorry for that....gotta love the side effects of chemotherapy.<br />
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1. Diagnosis<br />
2. Surgery<br />
3.First day of chemo<br />
4. Full range of motion in left arm<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJpu2GxnxzfBNrE3bYa9uyXDiCNEtdI2GPGRkN-_S0f9jKFm6RP_VxZSRoJwMyxkFi_KtFvZCza5dzUnx7PG4Dc18BD0bRlv7TQVcYZE79yqg3VDPl48TFCrKMtWQB2Kfgq8uXhcikbHU/s1600/IMG_6995.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJpu2GxnxzfBNrE3bYa9uyXDiCNEtdI2GPGRkN-_S0f9jKFm6RP_VxZSRoJwMyxkFi_KtFvZCza5dzUnx7PG4Dc18BD0bRlv7TQVcYZE79yqg3VDPl48TFCrKMtWQB2Kfgq8uXhcikbHU/s1600/IMG_6995.JPG" height="229" width="320" /></a>5. PET scan showed that chemotherapy KILLING the cancer cells!!<br />
6. Susan G. Komen 5k walk<br />
7. Radiation Completed!<br />
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This is just the little but that I can remember.....there has been many more that have happened over the last year! Now do you see why this birthday is so special to me?!?! Let's celebrate my life....literally! I mean it!! Share with me a memory or something! I am so happy to still be standing here today. I am so happy with all the new friends I have made (even though it was this evil disease that brought us together), my friends who have become like my sisters and everyone who has stuck with me through EVERYTHING.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7SbPFyMf69nQIraQvFCkHapmYAU0Ji2yANc78tAxcP3KfDktxLFBvqkTfoputUpUabcVpcPucxJYOwXpE8GW5Cf3Qb09X3KMwE5gQlflGKeS0l2j0g1iiOMyvcXqUmuboC0no5sBWpg/s1600/IMG_9266.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho7SbPFyMf69nQIraQvFCkHapmYAU0Ji2yANc78tAxcP3KfDktxLFBvqkTfoputUpUabcVpcPucxJYOwXpE8GW5Cf3Qb09X3KMwE5gQlflGKeS0l2j0g1iiOMyvcXqUmuboC0no5sBWpg/s1600/IMG_9266.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7_D_FLZR64y3nOXM41CGJbVebTFEjQ79-SpJcwNija5u7Ilc377E-d200t_25gO8ghDwRthANXQA3HhQFpwqqsjjV4FQjEaax8sZjS2uN6-z7VIeouoVbsT5Bz7t0hSn6anhty6CYzM/s1600/IMG_7409.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7_D_FLZR64y3nOXM41CGJbVebTFEjQ79-SpJcwNija5u7Ilc377E-d200t_25gO8ghDwRthANXQA3HhQFpwqqsjjV4FQjEaax8sZjS2uN6-z7VIeouoVbsT5Bz7t0hSn6anhty6CYzM/s1600/IMG_7409.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>I am going to end this because I will be repeating myself over and over again! Hey!! Guess what?!?!?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! I am 30 years old!!! I am alive!! I am living and I am very blessed!!! Help me make this celebration a great one! Love you all!!J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-40813172917648908812013-12-03T15:05:00.002-08:002013-12-03T15:05:41.769-08:00The Ugly Truth<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...... is that cancer takes people away from us! I woke up this morning to see that one of my pink sisters lost her battle to breast cancer. I have been crying and holding back my tears all morning and afternoon long. My heart is so heavy and I can't stop my eyes from watering and the tears from falling. Yes I did ask why she was taken but God has a plan for everyone and he called home his Angel. I take comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain, that she is healthy and whole once more. All of us pink sisters have an Angel watching over us. It breaks my heart. Her breast cancer had spread to her brain and all us Pink Sisters know that there is not much that can be done when the cancer has spread to other organs. The only thing that the doctors can do is just to treat it, there is not cure when it metastasizes. Breast Cancer and all other cancers take people from this world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't even put into words the sadness that I am feeling right now. My thoughts are all over the place. Mariana has a son who is maybe a little bit older than Jamison (3) and a family. My heart hurts for her son and her family she left behind. I didn't know Mariana personally but she has rooted me on with my battle. I knew her through Instagram as how I have met MANY of my pink sisters there. It hurts when one of our Pink Sisters loses the battle. It is not fair but a lot of things in life are just not fair. I will continue to pray for us all and for a cure so not one has to deal with this. Mariana thank you for being apart of my life for the short amount of time. You impacted me, cheered me on and gave me hope when I was feeling down. Watch over us all we will miss you greatly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a first for me to be sadden by a lost of someone I didn't know personally but who touched my heart greatly. As I was looking through FaceBook right before my chemo I saw one of my Pink Sisters mention Mariana in a post and than about another fellow Pink Sister. I found out that my Pink Sister Tina's breast cancer has spread to her liver!! It is a very difficult day. Just like Mariana I do not know Tina in person but through instagram and facebook. As my Pink Sister Regina said this afternoon, "the only good thing that comes from Breast Cancer is the friendships that you make' with other Breast Cancer Survivors. We are in this together!! Pink Sister Norma said on instagram we are holding our hands tightly together today. We will not fight this battle alone. Tina keep fighting a strong fight! I will pray for you girl! Thank you for being part of my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being able to tell me feelings about the events that are happening today I am finding some comfort. This is my outlet. As I was doing chemo today and reflecting on everything going on it was very and still is very hard to stay positive. I am scared SHITLESS about my PET scan that I am suppose to have this month! When will we find a cure? I am already at Stage 4 Breast Cancer. Just like all my Pink Sisters we WANT to have wonderful results from our PET Scans but some of us do not get those. I am scared! I KNOW that I need to have tons of more Faith in God when it comes to this but right now I am just so scared. I am sad for the loss of Mariana, I am pissed off that Tina's Cancer spread, and I hate CANCER. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! Please continue to pray for all of us. Prayers help so much.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.biblestudytools.com/1-thessalonians/passage.aspx?q=1%20Thessalonians+4:17-18" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 Thessalonians 4:17-18</span></a></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For all of you who are dealing with cancer whether it be you battling, a family member or a friend be there for them! Be a friend who makes time to see them not a friend who only sees them when they see the battle getting worse. Spend time because we (cancer patients) don't know how our battle is going to end. Don't end up being that person that wishes they would of spent more time after their loved one has left this Earth, be there for them NOW! The battle is HARD and I think it is HARDER when you are not going to treatments every day or every week. Trying to get back to as much of a "normal life" as one can. The transition is hard. Be there for them! Don't have any regrets! Support and being there means so much. All I can say is do enough to be there for them to be able to say if they don't win the battle that you where there for them and have no regrets.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that I get in moods when I "fall off" and what I mean by that is I just wake up and do what I need to do and than go to bed at night. Times when I feel like I am in a void of nothingness. There are times that I wish my closest of friends lived close to me so I could tell them "Hey can you come over and just be here with me because I am having a hard time." I don't get that pleasure because all of my closest of friends live ALL OVER the United States. I have a hard time building relationships and it is hard for me to trust people because of past failed friendships. I do keep myself away from opening up a lot. It is only because I am scared of getting hurt. One day I will be able to have a friend or friends who live close by that will be here for me. That will say I am coming over and we are going to hang out whether you want to or not. I miss my friends. I love facebook because I see all my friends who live far away. To my friends all over the US, my pink sisters and to my new friends I will do my best to be a better friend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">In the end remember that a cancer patient doesn't always know the end of their battle. I will end this with a quote from one of my pink sisters who left this comment on my </span>facebook<span style="background-color: white;">, "<span style="line-height: 11.199999809265137px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 11.199999809265137px;">While some of us will certainly lose our battles, many more of us will not only survive, but thrive!"</span></span></span></div>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-23035334332228145572013-10-31T11:24:00.001-07:002013-10-31T11:24:29.130-07:00PinktoberToday is the last day of October and it is Halloween as well. This month has kind of been hard on me. I am not going to lie and say it was an easy month, it wasn't. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I did my best to make people aware of this awful disease. As I struggle daily with knowing what I have I do my best to look at the bright side of everything, but sometimes it just doesn't help. I become withdrawn and sucked into a numb vortex.<br />
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As I type this I am crying for reasons that are unknown to me at the moment. I never thought in my life that I would have Breast Cancer. Never in my life would I think Breast Cancer Awareness would be so important to me and so much MORE important to inform others of the risks of NOT performing monthly checks. Checking yourself will save your life. Trust me I was that person for YEARS who thought it was super silly to check my breasts. Though I wish i wasn't because who knows I may have caught it sooner. By the time I found my lump....I had lumps and it spread. Do I want any of this for anyone else? HELL NO!!!<br />
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Living with Breast Cancer or any kind of cancer is hell. Every ache or pain can be a number of things but for me the first thing that comes to me is: Has my cancer spread? Are my headaches due to stress or did the cancer already spread to my brain? What about my bone ache? Where I am achy is that the same place where my cancer was spotted on my spine? So many things run through your mind. Than I try to fake myself with other things and be like oh no can't be my cancer, but than when I get in contact with my Doctors and their Nurse's everything is rushed to find out what is going on. Then reality kicks in that I am at Stage 4 and we can't dismiss anything at all. Prevention is the best thing for you. I am talking to both women and MEN!! Yes! Men get breast cancer too! Check yourself!<br />
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At the end of September I saw my Oncologist and found out that I wasn't going to have my PET scan til December. I was not too happy about this but there are reasons that are unknown to me as to why the scan got pushed back. When I returned to see my Oncologist 3 weeks later I had so much to tell him and so much on my mind. I got my tumor count labs done and that was a big sigh of relief.<br />
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As you can see from the photo that my markers keep going down!! This is a good thing and I was able to breathe a big breath. But still this doesn't put me at ease. I don't think anything ever will. I will always forever be haunted by breast cancer. Will I let it consume me? Hell no! I have to much going on in my life to let breast cancer get a hold of me and suck me in completely. I just can't do that to my boys, family,friends, my boyfriend and to myself.</div>
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I have tried to make people aware of Breast Cancer. I have posted photos of what I have gone through.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg__9-7YsgcYcHkjEYOVjuLKQrRQELfgbD2Q5snRTHJTG-yBvaMIT-vcz1Inv9lqgkErwaxBWM_t2kt7o_pJeyUlrqw3qgJrNvgdBE836OVrKFrBf0IuL-9XcgIXdN2N3mPM6cPfgIz9R8/s1600/picmonkey_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg__9-7YsgcYcHkjEYOVjuLKQrRQELfgbD2Q5snRTHJTG-yBvaMIT-vcz1Inv9lqgkErwaxBWM_t2kt7o_pJeyUlrqw3qgJrNvgdBE836OVrKFrBf0IuL-9XcgIXdN2N3mPM6cPfgIz9R8/s320/picmonkey_image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is a photo that I posted on my personal page, my group page and my fan page. Along with this photo this is what I wrote: <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px;">Good Morning Everyone! It is October 1st and that means the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I know what I am about to post I will lose some fans but I hope that in my posting I can save some people out there. This is not crochet rel</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px;">ated and this is personal. As you all know I am a Breast Cancer Patient so this month means a lot to me. I have stage 4 triple positive breast cancer. I want to share with you all the effects of breast cancer from the ugly to the good. This is a disease that is out there. It is not fake and it is not pretty. So many men and women have been taken away from us because of this disease. We need to find a cure for Breast Cancer.....we need to find a cure for ALL Cancers!! This disease needs to be stopped!! So many families have been affected by this. Together we can find a cure. </span></div>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px;"><br />Now I am going to tell you my brief story.<br /><br />November 15, 2012 at the age of 28 I was told I had breast cancer. I was a full time student and a single mother of 2 boys. The year before my husband left me and I was getting my life back on track. When I heard my diagnosis I didn't know what to think. Was I not on the right path and God was telling me with this diagnosis? So much ran through my mind. I couldn't leave my children motherless, I wasn't ready to go, I had so much more to live for. When I was diagnosis I didn't know what stage I was at. When I first saw my oncologist I was possibly stage 2/3 but a pet scan would give us more info. I had my pet scan in December and found out I was stage 4. My cancer spread from my breast to my lymph nodes, on my fourth rib, my shoulder blade and my spine! I couldn't believe this! Stage 4!! I was so angry at my first Dr for dismissing my issue as a dry nipple/cut. I had my surgery Dec 28th, 2012 and a month later I started chemo. I had 6 rounds of chemo and 33 radiation treatments. As of right now I do not know where my cancer is. I will say that after my second round of chemo the pet scan had showed the my treatments were working. I am scared every day of every ache and pain because I do not know if it is my cancer. Feel yourself and do your self examinations. Do not let this ugly disease take a hold of you! Be strong and fight. Fight to find a cure.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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From my fan page,<a href="http://www.facebook.com/urbanhookin"> Urban Hookin'</a>, 4,532 people saw this post. It was shared 20 times. This doesn't count how many times it was shared from my personal page and seen by other people. I hope I made a difference. I hope I opened up some eyes. Feeling yourself isn't silly. It will save you!<br />
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I heard that from my photo that I posted that there were 2 or 3 (can't remember) ladies who were going to go get a mammogram because of my story. My boyfriends boss was inspired to create something to make others aware and to remind them to get their mammograms and this is what she did:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSI9csOO239es4_r_ng3gCPcAf8uk4HW30hYnqQ0hYGYR6dYEMi-PNGT70yl-a32HXGSRxzTKEfnFt4woJ26uOdRZaOBLMJSEkYu_Ed1izbuvJeZfbCHC8Lm_3SlTd3qzY-13uVnuVi5I/s1600/IMG_8979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSI9csOO239es4_r_ng3gCPcAf8uk4HW30hYnqQ0hYGYR6dYEMi-PNGT70yl-a32HXGSRxzTKEfnFt4woJ26uOdRZaOBLMJSEkYu_Ed1izbuvJeZfbCHC8Lm_3SlTd3qzY-13uVnuVi5I/s200/IMG_8979.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirIV5bd8L2SyjCQoJ1QBfjeqzagG0LB2wrLZkAGHBaRbqhQRJMdTXXPT64K4c0DVFULKqCc7QDME7j858n77SMHNRm3pqxeyi4GcXxf8he1IjblieN5Z7DlPHnDwI-cXRoaWs01sjVrIY/s1600/IMG_8978.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirIV5bd8L2SyjCQoJ1QBfjeqzagG0LB2wrLZkAGHBaRbqhQRJMdTXXPT64K4c0DVFULKqCc7QDME7j858n77SMHNRm3pqxeyi4GcXxf8he1IjblieN5Z7DlPHnDwI-cXRoaWs01sjVrIY/s200/IMG_8978.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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She made some Mammo-Grahams and gave them out to all her female friends and family......Well I wanted to do a slide show but just unclicked everything I had selected....hahahaha dur! Ok finally got what I wanted to do done.<iframe frameborder="0" height="400" scrolling="no" src="http://s110.photobucket.com/user/lilangelx83/story/22241/embed" width="650"></iframe></div>
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I hope that I inspire others. I hope that I inspire my Pink Sisters. Don't give up! Keep fighting. Don't be consumed by the cancer. Be YOU! Live, laugh and LOVE with all that you are and all that you got. LIFE is precious! DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!!! You never know how much your life means to you until a disease is wanting to take your life from you.</div>
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I hope and pray that all of you who see or read this is aware of their own body. Have you done your self breast check yet? Don't be scared go do it! Check your breast. I check mine all the time! I am scared too but I still do it!! </div>
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I hope you can take one thing away from this blog or from me......Life is to precious to not care. I will continue to fight. I will never give up. I may cry and I may get tired of it but there is no way I will let it take me without a battle.</div>
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Love, Jackie</div>
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P.S. I am looking forward to December but I know I will be scared during the PET Scan. Have a great day and Happy Halloween! </div>
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<br />J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-42352355114058460542013-09-09T18:57:00.001-07:002013-09-09T18:57:24.853-07:00Radiation <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I am a MAJOR slacker when it comes to blogging! Yes I am almost 2 1/2 weeks post radiation treatment! I know that I said I was going to write about this a few weeks ago but I am just now getting to it! So lets see where should I start? </div>
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I started radiation July 8th! I was so scared! I had no idea what to expect at all!! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6ruOo1zuHKza71N6dWyzBx8vZeptJ3H-nQRZJHKRQOmPoYJvhychYriDHb4mLFMshNqQufgb6DrHZzbPtQhZmG7qleesvlRChzzOZJ0Ngxlt5FrsLxo5pRjABaq-cf7ZdfFis24SpuU/s1600/IMG_7530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6ruOo1zuHKza71N6dWyzBx8vZeptJ3H-nQRZJHKRQOmPoYJvhychYriDHb4mLFMshNqQufgb6DrHZzbPtQhZmG7qleesvlRChzzOZJ0Ngxlt5FrsLxo5pRjABaq-cf7ZdfFis24SpuU/s320/IMG_7530.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Radiation Machine</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My get up!</td></tr>
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So I was very nervous!! I shouldn't have been though! I think it was because I didn't know what to expect with my treatments so the unknown was scary to me. That first day I didn't know that my treatment had started until the techs told me that I was 2/3 of the way done! I was like serious?!?! What the hell was I nervous about?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg6YeLiOPz8WOCDgfVXJQIzyYF9aBP4uCzLP9UNRvL9xE37qMI24yiBsXlHQGRHQcwz097cKyLC5Innq7iezJFVPSGLCDMzDZO4rfnTOdzAdG-ri2rmu5Kh5Eo2Qq9MDntMHmSxxC9Tf4/s1600/IMG_7531.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg6YeLiOPz8WOCDgfVXJQIzyYF9aBP4uCzLP9UNRvL9xE37qMI24yiBsXlHQGRHQcwz097cKyLC5Innq7iezJFVPSGLCDMzDZO4rfnTOdzAdG-ri2rmu5Kh5Eo2Qq9MDntMHmSxxC9Tf4/s320/IMG_7531.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0sB905Mrh-CTtY7R7NvA2svz0V6lDzIB-kphNzwdB5mQs8e88w8yD8QSTMGzZCqMQvHrwx6P1oanZvt0Q2pYl6IaV-DyrjecRsA13bIRoqXcRuSolNQLym4EaH0mRnQQpiNtejsvS-WI/s1600/IMG_7565.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0sB905Mrh-CTtY7R7NvA2svz0V6lDzIB-kphNzwdB5mQs8e88w8yD8QSTMGzZCqMQvHrwx6P1oanZvt0Q2pYl6IaV-DyrjecRsA13bIRoqXcRuSolNQLym4EaH0mRnQQpiNtejsvS-WI/s320/IMG_7565.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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This is the first day of my radiation. I got drawn on and my skin had no effects of course lol.</div>
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So during my radiation my hands started tingly and my lymphedema did start acting up. I can't really say when I noticed my skin changing from the treatments but it sure did change! I was tired but not as tired as chemo put me. I was in pain and I am not going to lie about that BUT my pain didn't start to happen till the last few weeks of radiation. </div>
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These next few photos are going to show you the progression of the radiation that it has on the skin. These are not a week by week but missing a few week in-between. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6f-YPwx92JaiZZ5GstyEJJiC_zYZdBvPHL5RfQVWdbRxc23lNbRDQW205PgXuYfaWOTccjKkf9x6vix-VxxEGIfEAMgyUJCdnx7lPxLVrhjnlY60kM_UlUstAaXq3CKugF8jS6GVzAX0/s1600/IMG_7784.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6f-YPwx92JaiZZ5GstyEJJiC_zYZdBvPHL5RfQVWdbRxc23lNbRDQW205PgXuYfaWOTccjKkf9x6vix-VxxEGIfEAMgyUJCdnx7lPxLVrhjnlY60kM_UlUstAaXq3CKugF8jS6GVzAX0/s320/IMG_7784.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZK2oKQD1tjBFDxB2eS7zcJrpNy0MDjIB6mWgxI461zpajvf1YtpNXFszmrY5GhenBZydyDJpdMyNgRVmzxHXH4gv72V3XcF7DmAGMl6MIxh3aE9ut9taAtzx2JE8QVPVr6KhAjrwdELg/s1600/IMG_7857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZK2oKQD1tjBFDxB2eS7zcJrpNy0MDjIB6mWgxI461zpajvf1YtpNXFszmrY5GhenBZydyDJpdMyNgRVmzxHXH4gv72V3XcF7DmAGMl6MIxh3aE9ut9taAtzx2JE8QVPVr6KhAjrwdELg/s320/IMG_7857.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghor5aUcTh0RGczaNbBsLH7RyNv-YeScbWbBq_d8Xr1ImnpeBhNMc4NMv7qtDCGI7UsncGYc_kAHl5MpBQU33QhOridqcLDg5fX4KZdohxz8D8ud1y99qqJmdd3DoDV4POpUZHQY2JY08/s1600/IMG_7847.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghor5aUcTh0RGczaNbBsLH7RyNv-YeScbWbBq_d8Xr1ImnpeBhNMc4NMv7qtDCGI7UsncGYc_kAHl5MpBQU33QhOridqcLDg5fX4KZdohxz8D8ud1y99qqJmdd3DoDV4POpUZHQY2JY08/s320/IMG_7847.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br /> So as you can see it was very painful. It seriously was like the worst sunburn EVER!! The worst parts of this burn was my collar bone and right under my armpit! Those HURT bad!!<br />
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I had 6 1/2 weeks of treatment, I went in Monday - Friday. My last five treatments were very quick and easy. All it was was a booster to my scar. I prayed that my skin wouldn't break and it didn't! I did start to peel and that was it! It was so hard to put lotion on my chest because I still have issues with touching my scar. I am not sure if you can notice or not but my skin did tighten up and now my chest looks nice to me! With my radiation if I decide to have reconstruction surgery it is going to be PAINFUL!! To have tissue expanders placed! OUCH!<br />
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I have chemo tomorrow and I see my oncologist! I hope we will have an appt for my pet scan. Right now the only treatment that I do is my chemo every 3 weeks! I hope and pray that my cancer is still responding to my herceptin only and hasn't spread.<br />
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Oh I want to show you all my hair!!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJRTzDh6EyVTRE_h8OLlVX7NzCbhyphenhyphen8QSPBE0vgLK7-8NmmEWG6o1OgzF5Mq0VvnSi3AhQ3GyKl-01NyRxHj5rkC9e99EZ69IVMefYKR_pz8MZUWQ1OxoDXqMpCUKQDSeOcWB52WuNiUhE/s1600/IMG_7427.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJRTzDh6EyVTRE_h8OLlVX7NzCbhyphenhyphen8QSPBE0vgLK7-8NmmEWG6o1OgzF5Mq0VvnSi3AhQ3GyKl-01NyRxHj5rkC9e99EZ69IVMefYKR_pz8MZUWQ1OxoDXqMpCUKQDSeOcWB52WuNiUhE/s320/IMG_7427.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June 28th </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">June/July </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 31st.</td></tr>
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My hair is coming in and I am still getting use to it. I wish my hair was growing in faster but I will take what I have. It took a while for me to get use to it but it is growing on me, lol.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66nEegHvC95pI75PpJ-1mid7H5yz4yk2BB-iZPyDdOlt6x5uv5mE7VDbWP05er1XOmXA2cLYuDcd_mt_WjKi1Y0pgWa6eoMdrramddFoOdzAv2pJuv3LFuVFDMSt5wuJP8n14NfsRkd0/s1600/IMG_7679.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66nEegHvC95pI75PpJ-1mid7H5yz4yk2BB-iZPyDdOlt6x5uv5mE7VDbWP05er1XOmXA2cLYuDcd_mt_WjKi1Y0pgWa6eoMdrramddFoOdzAv2pJuv3LFuVFDMSt5wuJP8n14NfsRkd0/s320/IMG_7679.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Regina and I</td></tr>
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This summer I got to meet another Pink Sister who has family out here! It was AWESOME!!! I have many pink sisters around the world and we support, encourage, pray and love each other. The bonds between us is amazing. It is like no other! I am grateful that this horrible disease/illness has brought us together.<br /><div>
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I am still gaining energy but I still have my days where I have very low energy. I feel better than what I did during chemo. My body is still recovering from radiation though. Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers. Please continue to pray for me as I don't know much more about the next steps for my treatment. The unknown is always scary for me because I am already at stage 4. I want my results to come back good. </div>
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Well until next time everyone! Thank you! Love you all!</div>
J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-60659569250614654902013-07-19T22:54:00.002-07:002013-07-19T22:54:35.740-07:00My StoryI am not sure if I every sat down to write my story, my journey. It has been a whirl wind and a nightmarish hell with a dose of sunshine. I have many people tell me I am an inspiration to them and that I am so positive through all this but I try not to post anything to negative. It is a hard battle and I have been negative. So here I am, I am going to tell you my story of the last two years.<br />
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June 2011 I learned that my husband wanted to separate and that was a big devastation to me. I didn't know what to do as I was a stay at home mom to a than 9 month old and a 3 year old. My children and I moved from VA to WA after I found out that my husband didn't want to stay married. I was shocked, hurt, and living a nightmare. I was in to much pain and I didn't want to hate all men out in the world so I seeked helped and starting talking to a counselor. With this separation I missed 6 months of my children's lives. I only remember what we did because of photos to help but without those photos to document what went on I wouldn't have know what to do. It took a long minute to get my head on straight but I got it one as straight as I could with the help from my family, friends and counseling.<br />
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January 2012 I started winter quarter of college. This was a HUGE step for me. My journey to get educated and be able to support my children was beginning. I went to college winter, spring, and summer quarter. Everything was going well. I had a 3.something high GPA. I was passing my classes I was just that much more closer to starting the nursing program. Than came fall quarter. All I had to do was finish fall and winter quarter than I could apply for the nursing program. But of course things changed during fall quarter. I felt a lump.<br />
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Now my breast cancer journey begins. So I felt a lump in my left breast. Earlier in April I had a cut at the base of my nipple that wouldn't heal. I started getting shooting pains back up to my arm put. I braced myself and I felt the lump. I didn't think anything of it. It took me about a week or so before I made a call to get an appt. I had told my Doctor about the cut and the lump. She examined me and immediately said she was sending to get a STAT ultrasound, mammogram AND biopsy because it could be one of three things. She said that it could be a clogged milk duct, an infection or breast cancer but we had to run test to see what was going on.<br />
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I left the Dr. office and everything sunk in. I COULD have Breast Cancer! I sat and I cried, I was scared. I gathered myself up and headed off to class. I was in a daze but I really had to focus because what was the sense of worrying over something I didn't know what it could be. No sense in wasting energy just yet.<br />
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I had a biopsy 11/7/12 but I had to go back the following week to get another biopsy done because it was suppose to be a biopsy guided by ultrasound. When I had my ultrasound appt and my mammogram appt they saw calcification and they wanted to get that biopsy. I tried to do what I could do when waiting for the results. I tried to be happy. I tried to not worry but I did.<br />
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I did my best to try and still be me! To not let the unknown grab ahold of me and take me into a dark hole. I didn't want to be numb.<br />
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I had my second and third biopsy done 11/14/2012<br />
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See still trying to be as normal as possible. I went to school and I was in pain! I did homework...anatomy homework. I still continued going about my day. I was scared shitless.<br />
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Nov. 15, 2012 at 4:12 pm my boys and I were singing "shine bright like a diamond" when my phone rang. I answered it and it was the surgeon. I knew something went wrong when she asked me if it was an okay time to talk. I told her it was. I was only 2min away from home anyway. She told me I have breast cancer. I didn't know what to think. I was shocked. I told her Thank you for letting me know and that I was ready to fight this battle. I told her what is the next step? Let's get this taken care of and out of my body. I was taking the diagnosis pretty well. I made it to the house with not a tear shed. I got off the phone with the surgeon and I had to call someone. I called my mom and she didn't answer. I think I called her twice. I called my boyfriend and he didn't answer. I felt alone! Than the tears started to come. I had just only really met my friend Sam but I had to call someone so I called her. I cried. I had to get off the phone with her because my mom was calling me back. I told my mom and we both cried. It still brings tears to my eyes remembering this. It was so hard to tell everyone. I was only 28 years old. I was going to be turning 29 in one month and 2 days. I told everyone but the hardest was having to tell my soon to be ex-husband. I told him and it was hard. I had really don't remember the rest of the night but from this picture I know I smiled.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nov. 15,2012- Breast Cancer Diagnosis</td></tr>
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When I was diagnosed I cried, I asked the whole why me?, I was mad, angry, frustrated, scared. I didn't know what was up and down, left and right. Everything was just all over the place. I was NUMB! That numbness didn't last long. I DID NOT want to miss out on life because of Breast Cancer. I was NOT going to let Breast Cancer take me easy. If Breast Cancer wanted me it was going to have one hell of a fight.<div>
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Thanksgiving was hard, my birthday was hard, and so was Christmas. I learned that I had Triple Positive Breast Cancer and that I was at Stage IV! I wasn't very lucky to find it early unfortunately. We had a scare and they thought that the cancer had went to my brain. Thank the good Lord there ended up being no cancer in my brain but I had cancer in my lymphnodes, 4th rib, scapula and my L-5 in my spine. At 29yrs old I was a newly diagnosed stage IV Breast Cancer Patient. I had to have surgery. I wasn't given the choice of a lumpectomy because my LUMPS (yes more than one) where very large. I had to have a radical Mastectomy. My whole breast had to go. <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanksgiving</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Heather and I<br />Birthday Party Thrown by Heather and Michael<br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas</td></tr>
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I enjoyed everything as best as I could. I took my 5year old to soccer practices and games. I tried to continue on with school. Old friendships because new friendships. The amount of support I received was unbelievable. So many people reached out to me and are STILL reaching out to me. I was blogging and letting everyone know what was going as best as I could. Don't get me wrong during all this I was crying, mad, and angry. There was a point where I was so scared that I wouldn't get to live a long time.</div>
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I didn't understand why this was happening to me. I asked "haven't my boys gone through enough already?" For them to have their father walk out on us and than to have a mom who has breast cancer. It was all so scary. There were nights that I laid in bed thinking about all the what ifs. There where plenty of nights that I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't take the whirl wind. I turn to God. There has to be a lesson....something wasn't going the way He planned. This was a way to remind Me that I was not 100% in control of my life. I had a path that I needed to follow and journeys with bumps in the road that I had to go through. Breast Cancer now became a bump in my road. I put everything into the Lords hands.</div>
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December 28, 2012 I had my radical mastectomy. I was going to have a double mastectomy but at the last minute I changed my mind.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTOwpjKe4DKEvL1HvjMLa8Mnoopm_w6dIDQX1xp1frkdEyTsg0xNNBXWPMBS_y2WndTIWGom_HMzAjzu1qSNQmkK07ILazTeoCXaetRzwdUeP-YBNEXm2CmL9EViyKscsc8-0REStIhM/s1600/IMG_4339.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTOwpjKe4DKEvL1HvjMLa8Mnoopm_w6dIDQX1xp1frkdEyTsg0xNNBXWPMBS_y2WndTIWGom_HMzAjzu1qSNQmkK07ILazTeoCXaetRzwdUeP-YBNEXm2CmL9EViyKscsc8-0REStIhM/s320/IMG_4339.JPG" width="320" /></a> I was ready to get the nasty cancer out of my body. Scared to all hell of the surgery but I knew that I would be just fine. My support is amazing! All I wanted to do was get the surgery done, recover and start my journey to smashing cancer.</div>
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This is what I woke up looking like (well not really because my hair was disastrous)</div>
I was TIRED and sore. My mom did my hair, found my hook up site for chemo and I still had my surgical marking on me.<br />
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I am not going to lie at all......it was HARD looking at my new body. It was hard knowing what cancer took. It was an adjustment. I cried and good thing it was just me in the room. No one can prepare you for what your body will look like after surgery.</div>
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I was very happy to get home and be with my family and children. I wanted to heal and continue my battle.</div>
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My first chemo was January 29th and I was scared, very scared. I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't sure if chemo was going to hurt me at all. Good thing I had both of my parents with me by my side.</div>
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Though my first chemo was scary I had a smile on my face and was able to laugh. The nurses were amazing and nice!</div>
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I struggled with everything going on. All of my support helped me get out of my dark holes that I was in. I can not thank my support enough. They will never know how much they mean to me and they will never know that each time they talked to me or thought about me and shared with me that they were doing it when I needed it the most. Everything was always at the right moment. </div>
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My oh my....this journey had been incredible. It has been a roller coaster. It IS hard. There were days when I felt like complete crap. Other days I felt amazing! Trying to find the bright side of things made it easier. I was grateful to be alive one more day. I started living my life one day at a time. When death knocks at your door and you choose to fight for your life you wake up! You have a wake up call that you didn't expect to receive. Yes, I know that we will all end up dying but we never know when! With my diagnosis it was more like "hi I am here and I am trying to take you now!" To me I was NOT going to let that happen. I was going to do my VERY best to stay here on this Earth as long as I can and I will do everything in my power to live. To live for my boys, my family. If cancer was going to take me it was going to have to fight to take me. I was not going to let it take me easy, no way.</div>
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How could I not be happy with these two boys in my life? My heart, my everything. When I felt like I couldn't go on or take anymore I just looked at my children and knocked the thoughts out of my head. I was going to live. </div>
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Another hard part of this journey was seeing my hair fall out. It was very hard. I lasted as long as I could before I couldn't take it any more.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij4Ojk2-VD7iXk_Kf6skJnvjR4Vq15pJsj7OdWGioWKHwnk1ib2iBEZtTrWIwAWXmYRkeT6pLTf3MhDK5nh2avstjc391-6RQ7UK0DjmjtoVZW9X84TgNyv8kGEaqfgckxKr59SRMlqCQ/s1600/IMG_5358.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij4Ojk2-VD7iXk_Kf6skJnvjR4Vq15pJsj7OdWGioWKHwnk1ib2iBEZtTrWIwAWXmYRkeT6pLTf3MhDK5nh2avstjc391-6RQ7UK0DjmjtoVZW9X84TgNyv8kGEaqfgckxKr59SRMlqCQ/s320/IMG_5358.JPG" width="240" /></a> The last time I brushed my hair I couldn't finish doing it. I had taken a shower and was slowly combing my hair out. There was a huge tangle at the back of my head. I KNEW that the whole clump was coming out. My hair was falling out more and more. I HATED waking in the mornings because my pillow was covered in my hair. My mother and my sister came to me while I was combing my hair. They where observing me and than I broke down. They embraced me in their arms and took over combing my hair out. I cried the whole time they combed my hair. That weekend I went and got my head shaved. That was very hard but I had my children, my family and my boyfriend with me. I could do anything with all my support there to life me.</div>
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I still struggle today with everything. I am still trying to love my body. I have completed my 6 cycles of chemo therapy. My last pet scan showed that my chest cavity, 4th rib, scapula where cleared of the cancer and that the spot on my spine was shrinking. I just finished week 2 of radiation therapy and my hair is growing back. I feel very blessed. I have lived each day one day at a time. I live for my children. I fight for everyone. Always try to smile even through the darkest of storms. The clouds will part and the sun will shine once again. Live your life to the fullest. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed!</div>
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I miss my old self! But I wouldn't change my path for anything! I am who I am because of all the events that have happened in my life. I cry because I don't have my old body and I don't have my hair. Well I need to wake up and realize life is just to short to be sad. I am for the most part very positive but I miss the me before cancer. </div>
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I will live my life to the fullest and one day at a time. I will keep swimming in the high waters that are thrown my way. I may have Breast Cancer but Breast Cancer has not consumed me. Thank you to all of my support for EVERYTHING! I love you all for everything you have done. Without my support I wouldn't have had anyone to help me get back on my feet when I fell. </div>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-76072838293967137422013-05-10T19:23:00.000-07:002013-05-10T19:23:03.736-07:00My StatusWell HELLO everyone! I have TWO appointment updates for you all. I have Oncology AND Radiation updates!! I can't believe how fast time is going!! It is just crazy. It is already May 10th.....wow!!<br />
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So lets get to this blog. On May 2nd I had my appointment with my Oncologist Dr. Wang. We talked about the rest of my treatment. May 28th is the LAST day of my CHEMO Cycle. What is a chemo cycle? Well I did SIX rounds of chemo. This is how I understood this chemo cycle. Jan 29th was day one of my first big chemo. Than that following next two Tuesday's are my small chemo which is my Herceptin only. So one round of chemo contained Big Chemo (all 3 meds), Small chemo, Small chemo. So I did six rounds of that. I hope I didn't confuse you. The 28th of this month is the LAST day of my 6th cycle, yahoo!!!!<br />
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So what happens next? Well I found out that I will be doing Herceptin indefinitely! After the 28th of May I will be returning every 3 weeks to get my dose of Herceptin. What is Herceptin? Well, this is the Chemo drug that targets the cancer cells! You can find more info about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trastuzumab">Herceptin</a> just click on the word! I will take this medicine until my doctor tells me I don't need it any more. So my port better start acting right! I don't mind that I have to keep going back. Whatever is going to keep me healthy and here to stay. I will take it!<br />
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So, on top of having to go back every three weeks I get to take <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamoxifen">Tamoxifen</a> every day. Tamoxifen is my hormone suppressant. So it blocks the hormones that my cancer likes to feed on.....ESTROGEN. This causes fun, fun, fun HOT FLASHES!! Dr. Wang wants me to be on this for a MINIMAL of 10 years. I start my Tamoxifen 3 weeks after the 28th! Let the good times roll! LOL!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Tamoxifen gets mailed to me!</td></tr>
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<br />On the 7th I had my appointment with the radiation doctor; Dr. Xu. So this is what she said. I will be doing a total of 28 radiation treatments with an additional 5 treatments to my scar. I will have to go EVERYDAY Monday-Friday! I will be in the office for 15-30min each day. So the parts of my body that will have radiation are my left chest wall, under my arm, my neck area and behind my sternum. Its a huge range but it needs to be done because my cancer spread to my lymph nodes We need to make sure that we kill all these little pesky bugs that are lingering around. I will be complete with my radiation Mid-August.<div>
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As for reconstruction surgery I really don't want to think about that. I know that will pretty much put me in panic mode. I do not like surgery and I am just scared because my recon is going to be more intense than I originally wanted it to be! I will have to wait SIX months after I am done with radiation before I can have the surgery. Reason being is to make sure that my tissue has healed from the radiation. Working with radiated tissue is a lot more complex than with normal tissue. This means that the spacers are going to probably be more painful than normal. </div>
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But this is the update to those two appointments. I also have an appointment for survivors :) I have to double check when that appointment is again.</div>
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So I have a question for you all. May 28, 2013 is my last day of my chemo cycle should I make a sign saying its my last chemo? What are your thoughts? I mean I will be going back every three week for Herceptin. So I would love to hear your thoughts. I want to tell you all more about the last two weeks but I don't want to have this blog post be so long! I will write another post later.</div>
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So in 18 more days I will be done with my six cycles! Woot Woot!! I can't wait!<br /><br /></div>
J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-83369916714500179062013-04-29T22:34:00.000-07:002013-04-29T22:34:18.212-07:00One Heck of a WeekOMG! Last week was CRAZY!! I am so glad that it is OVER with! So much happened that I do not even know how I managed to do everything! So let's start off with Chemo day!<br />
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Tuesday- Everything was going great. I was in a great mood, the sun was shining, my knitting instructor stopped and chatted; it was easy!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ready for the Battle!</td></tr>
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Everything was going great and I was dressed for the task that was laid before me that day. My dad got us some AMAZiNG food from The Rainbow Cafe! <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best Chicken Soup Ever!!</td></tr>
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Chemo was rocking on and I was knitting and crocheting. Doing my thang! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Than as we round the corner to my easy herceptin something happened to my port! The nurse hooked me up but the IV pump kept saying something was wrong. So my nurse checked out my port. Well, this is where the fun began! We could get blood out of my port but NOTHING would go in! We couldn't flush the port at all! They have had patients where they couldn't get blood out but could flush it. It has happened to me before but what was going on this time was the FIRST EVER!! None of the nurses have ever seen this happen. How could they get blood out but nothing in?!?! They adjusted the port and nothing! The kept pulling blood out and nothing. They took the needle out and re accessed my port again. Still nothing would go in. They even tried to get the medicine that dissolves clots in and it just wouldn't budge. They took the needle out AGAIN and sticked me AGAIN but this time they put the dissolving medicine on the needle. So we waited 20 min and then they tried the port. This time they could flush the port! YAY! BUT they couldn't get any blood out!!!! What the Heck?!?!?!?! Something was going seriously funky with my port. The nurses had no idea what was going on. They called the Dr and he wanted a dye test done on my port. What?!?! I started to freak out! What if my port wasn't working? What if I needed a new port? Is my chemo going to be delay? OMG I didn't want any of that! So the nurses where trying to get me in to get a dye test that day. While they were doing that this is what happened:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaFI9ocRhdiwauc0EegDsTWl8GRO35SrEqapAW6SWv4hi5Gz3hkjq0hatoxmyrTBBbCCiqWdzqBsGJtdcnNzG8vRWegz0dvfWnxs5z0od2ngJ07DoOPS_9neQa-1rNhbspi8QXlspLpAg/s1600/IMG_6357%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaFI9ocRhdiwauc0EegDsTWl8GRO35SrEqapAW6SWv4hi5Gz3hkjq0hatoxmyrTBBbCCiqWdzqBsGJtdcnNzG8vRWegz0dvfWnxs5z0od2ngJ07DoOPS_9neQa-1rNhbspi8QXlspLpAg/s320/IMG_6357%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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I finished off my chemo in my hand. OUCH! I hate IVs in my hand they are the worst! So I spent the last 30 minutes with this horrible thing in my hand. We were not able to get in to get a dye study that day. I was tired. I had been poked THREE times and I was not looking forward to getting poked again! I went home with my port still accessed.</div>
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It was very interesting to go home with the needle in my chest! </div>
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So on Wednesday I went to Good Sam to have a dye study done on my port. I was as positive as I could be. They put the dye in and took the photos. I got to see my port INSIDE my body! It is FREAKING AMAZING!! I wish I took a photo so I could show you what the port looks like inside! The Radiologist Dr said nothing was wrong with my port. That everything was in working order. There were no kinks or rips the dye went where it needed to go, it didn't spill out. So what the heck is wrong with my port? I still don't know. The Dr said that my port could have a myelin sheath of connective tissue on it that was acting as a one way valve. So he explained that the possibility is that because the port was accessed correctly it may have needed to be adjusted a little bit. That when the nurses where try to get the blood draw back that the connective tissue was acting as a valve and pinching off the tube. So we will see what tomorrow brings!</div>
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Wednesday night- CJ and Grandpa go out to enjoy the good weather after dinner. They are outside riding their bikes and I am enjoying my time inside. Well than my dad comes into the house with CJ in his arms crying and bracing his arm. At this point I am just COMPLETELY DONE. I wanted nothing to do with anything. I was extremely exhausted. I was just stone cold exhausted (I feel bad now that I was like that) but I was just done with my week and I didn't want any more excitement. So we iced his elbow and I gave him some pain meds. We made a makeshift sling for his arm and I told him to head to sleep. Told him that if it was still hurting in the morning we would go to the Dr All through the night my poor baby was in pain. He stood home and we went to the Dr the next morning.</div>
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At the Dr we got an x-ray! CJ was excited to see his bones! He was in pain when they made him extend his elbow but I think him being able to see his bones afterwards made it all the better lol.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwHHqFR_uUN7APQiqfJvPtVqGxOwJiLDkluIutLTIs7vVlv76qgGxKZShTO5bYLa_5VQU1QRCacS_zTgGitTSsU1mQdDc44lOzXhlDykjHH5fuCbRdDdCTT6C89EyQ8xLjKzOT-FBezlE/s1600/IMG_6383%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwHHqFR_uUN7APQiqfJvPtVqGxOwJiLDkluIutLTIs7vVlv76qgGxKZShTO5bYLa_5VQU1QRCacS_zTgGitTSsU1mQdDc44lOzXhlDykjHH5fuCbRdDdCTT6C89EyQ8xLjKzOT-FBezlE/s320/IMG_6383%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
We left the Dr and waiting to hear results. I get a call later that day saying that there is a fracture! Once I heard he had a fracture I felt HORRIBLE! My poor baby had a fracture and all I did was tell him to suck it up!! What a horrible mommy I was! So the nurse told me that he needed to see a pediatric orthopedic surgeon! So I called and scheduled an appt and we got in on Friday!<br />
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At the orthopedic they examined him and looked at his x-rays again. She showed where the fracture was and CJ told her where he was in pain! So on went a cast! CJ was very excited about his first cast. I on the other hand felt like crap that my baby got a fracture! So he is in a cast for two week. We go back on the 9th to get x-rays and get the cast removed.</div>
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He decided to get a purple cast because that's both his and his grandmas favorite color. He is happy to have a cast on and NO it has not slowed him down. He is still bouncing off the walls and everything.</div>
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Saturday came and I chowed down like I had not eaten in weeks! My energy was low but I was still going. I was not wiped out like my last big chemo. Than Sunday came and OMG I felt like my bones wanted to break! It is the weirdest feeling EVER! My bones HURT!!! It literally is painful to lay down or sit down. I am still in a bit of pain today but nothing like it was yesterday.</div>
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I had my blood draw today and my WBC are OFF the charts. They are so high. There are a few things that are really high and its making me scared. I like when I am in normal range but I freak out when I am low or high. I have NEVER seen my White Blood Counts this high EVER! I will find out what is going on tomorrow if it is something I need to worry about. </div>
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Well I think I am going to get ready for bed. I hope you all enjoyed my week! LOL. Love you all!</div>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-9368943646933782412013-04-12T19:46:00.001-07:002013-04-12T19:46:22.101-07:00Speechless<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes I am speechless. How can I be speechless? I don't know but I can tell you that when my heart is overfilled with love I become speechless and I don't ever had the right words to say but "Thank You". Wonder what I am talking about? Well lets see if I can explain and make sense about it all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I was diagnosis with Breast Cancer on November 15,2012 I felt alone. Why? As soon as I got off the phone with the doctor I tried to get a hold of my mom who was at work and I couldn't get through. I called 3 times I believe. Than I tried to call my boyfriend and I got no answer. I didn't know who to call to tell them what I was told. I felt lost and alone even though I knew I wasn't really alone. My mom finally called me back and up til than I had not shed a tear. I couldn't get out the doctor said without crying. I burst into tears when I told my mom that the doctor said I have breast cancer. It was such a whirlwind of everything going on. I didn't know which way was up or down. My mom and I both cried. It was very hard to tell everyone else that I was diagnosis with breast cancer. I didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be happening to me. A single mom with two little boys to raise. Why me? Of course the infamous question. It didn't matter I was diagnosis with breast cancer end of story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A lot of my family found out about my diagnosis through my blog post that I wrote. My mom also called my aunts and told them. Breast Cancer is not a stranger in our family unfortunately. Cancer in general isn't a stranger either to our family. It sucks and our family has many cancer survivors. I come from a family of fighters and we are strong fighters. We don't go down easy at all and that is IF we even do go down at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With my diagnosis my family and I we were trying to not let it really suck us down to a deep dark nasty ugly hole of sadness. We have our good days and we have our bad days. We are strong. I have an enormous support group. My support group is all over the world and I know this! I have met other cancer patients and have become friends with them along with being each others support and rooting each other on. My family is very, very supportive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Awhile back I posted a blog about the surprise skype call I got from my family in California. I seriously was not having a good week and that Saturday I was not in the best of moods. My cancer had me in a deep dark place that I did not want to be in. All I had wanted to do that day was cry and be wrapped in a blanket. I didn't want to do a dang thing. Well I was a bit ticked because I was trying to have a good day out with Michael and the boys but we had to come back to watch the football game, blah! Well to my surprise my family had planned a get together in my honor. It was absolutely amazing and I was surprised. I cried. Never in my life would I think I would have this much support behind me. I am still astound at the amount of support that I do have. I am very blessed. I have had strangers enter my life who have inspired me and gave me motivation. I have been told that I am a motivation to others but I don't know how or why I am, all I am doing is fighting the fight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So this is where I have become speechless. My family.......yes, my family has made me speechless. A few members of my family have permanently inked themselves with breast cancer ribbons in honor of myself, my cousin and aunt who have battled breast cancer. I don't ever know the right words to say and all that comes out is 'Thank You'. I mean I wish I could comment with the look on my face, the cheesy ass grin on my face and how cartoonish big my heart looks with it being imploded with all the love and support my family is showing. I can't explain into words how much having a support system means. There have been times when I just got so tired of this fight that I hated who I was. I didn't want ANYONE to see me go through this. I didn't want my boys to have to see me go through this. But with the support that I have behind me I have the courage to keep going on and fighting stronger than ever! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is the ink that my family had put on the<span style="color: #333333; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 13.59375px;">m permanently:</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGxojdr47TTdMyvx2jIboB6_v1Dk-voKv_aevZGO3AFx9IqbuhJ4WqSESxMOF0-_-8ILAuxi7rGJPK-dNbbyhE-LTshmqamX6UuhjCesY5zf9R4iZ7Clqw89KUsKlv9pQ1nvFmus0cWbw/s1600/710904_10200133732364473_2070052737_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGxojdr47TTdMyvx2jIboB6_v1Dk-voKv_aevZGO3AFx9IqbuhJ4WqSESxMOF0-_-8ILAuxi7rGJPK-dNbbyhE-LTshmqamX6UuhjCesY5zf9R4iZ7Clqw89KUsKlv9pQ1nvFmus0cWbw/s320/710904_10200133732364473_2070052737_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Brother in law's tattoo</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfDdZVAQ0yPwsQLQG1pTebouOhqPou8goVxhbxkGR8mQOiqX4TYtbR57_OkDZfm9iD0xZMhWOxgOtjlfLKf0-BxyT6uYjdoUyngeuplxaY2dC60e8Q5rviZvAVSwypSC2gHhgLW43t5Oc/s1600/711465_10200133732084466_1576493361_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfDdZVAQ0yPwsQLQG1pTebouOhqPou8goVxhbxkGR8mQOiqX4TYtbR57_OkDZfm9iD0xZMhWOxgOtjlfLKf0-BxyT6uYjdoUyngeuplxaY2dC60e8Q5rviZvAVSwypSC2gHhgLW43t5Oc/s320/711465_10200133732084466_1576493361_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sister Selina's Tattoo</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuSQ9PmH_5gUpUgMp2WPZSdGf05qb5GIa1qDZOzme99b_qECvVJZFqlBDYSbOXwC_VINKf0RIwODgefk-Ao6PumNkBDYqDfyStpUwwXrK6k-dQWwoOGZQaYuNwdx2-6weibUVxM8BkLvw/s1600/auntdora.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuSQ9PmH_5gUpUgMp2WPZSdGf05qb5GIa1qDZOzme99b_qECvVJZFqlBDYSbOXwC_VINKf0RIwODgefk-Ao6PumNkBDYqDfyStpUwwXrK6k-dQWwoOGZQaYuNwdx2-6weibUVxM8BkLvw/s320/auntdora.jpg" width="191" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aunt Dora's Tattoo with all of our initials </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoB8ymJvXIuRMMTuNnTho8NIQPL11ulWokPnjXh35-uGcG1MNL8tvg2tRUiOfHTdhMZY750tl3w8T6j98hPraSg8vdubSKQFrVigp1-BsZ0HOmLFcdhkG4AtgFFsdirgPnv5QcYDP0YJ0/s1600/737454_4782025664555_766226090_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoB8ymJvXIuRMMTuNnTho8NIQPL11ulWokPnjXh35-uGcG1MNL8tvg2tRUiOfHTdhMZY750tl3w8T6j98hPraSg8vdubSKQFrVigp1-BsZ0HOmLFcdhkG4AtgFFsdirgPnv5QcYDP0YJ0/s320/737454_4782025664555_766226090_o.jpg" width="304" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My Mom's tattoo</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhiY0MhXa7hYnI2FJXk37fxkXF7Y6uTWWxmABTQUc0Ir3YZ5tUOmeXDwq680XU3zn59bCE46n-9eKhtSZtGFeQPs3KNHjj84-tybY_7gQky5rAifblMZXqgQWGyhpitFO0EzL-lizu6Q/s1600/cousinbecki.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhiY0MhXa7hYnI2FJXk37fxkXF7Y6uTWWxmABTQUc0Ir3YZ5tUOmeXDwq680XU3zn59bCE46n-9eKhtSZtGFeQPs3KNHjj84-tybY_7gQky5rAifblMZXqgQWGyhpitFO0EzL-lizu6Q/s320/cousinbecki.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My cousin Becky's tattoo</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 13.59375px;">I mean seriously what can I saw to this? All in my honor along with others too! I'm so awe struck. I do not have words to express how much this means to me! It does mean a lot to me. I just wish I was a master with words and that I could word things so magically and wonderfully. But thank you and I am honored that you would ink yourselves for me and many others! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 13.59375px;">I don't say it often enough but Thank You EVERYONE for all of your continued support. I can not tell you how many times I have had a hard day and I get some random comment that makes me smile. I swear you all know when I need a lift. You are all the most wonderful support system that anyone could ever have! Though everyone is every important to me and you all mean a lot to me but my parents they are amazing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 13.59375px;">This whole breast cancer thing is an eye opener and I am sure many wonder why I live with my parents. I got separated back in 2011 and had no where to go but to come home to my family; my parents. We have been through a lot these past two years. Dealing with my separation and than when things started to go well with me being in college getting on my way to nursing school the cancer came. My parents have been there with me through it all! I could not have asked God for better parents. They are my rock! Thank you mom and dad I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now than to be with you all fighting this nasty thing!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 13.59375px;">Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Every single one of you are amazing and I am very blessed to have you all as my support. I am happy that I have such an amazing support system filled with amazing people like you. Thank you so much and I am honored that you all have done things in honor of me and others it touches my heart and leaves me speechless.</span></span>J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-88303397529013399912013-04-09T13:14:00.001-07:002013-04-09T13:14:24.284-07:00Stop and Touch Yourself!Oh yes I did just say that! I want you all to stop for a moment and touch yourself. What? Why? Has she lost her mind? Well, what I really mean by touch yourself, I mean give yourself a self breast exam. Do it! It's not going to hurt, promise. Just take a moment to get to know your breast, this includes men as well. Breast Cancer does not discriminate at all. Men and Women get breast cancer don't think you are safe because you are a male or because whatever you think. Just remember it doesn't discriminate.<br />
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You can let breast cancer sneak up and bite you in the ass hard or be educated about it and know your breasts. Either way the diagnosis of breast cancer isn't an easy one to swallow but being able to catch it in its earlier stages can be done just by knowing your breasts. We can do so much to try to prepare and avoid cancer but when you have it you have and it sucks. I want to go up to everyone I know and ask them have you felt yourself lately? I know that a few of my friends where able to feel what my breast cancer felt like when I had my breast still. Did I feel weird that they were touching my breast? Naw! Why not you ask? Well seriously do you know what breast cancer feels like? Do you? More than likely not. I know I didn't until it snuck up on me. Why would I not let my friend feel what an abnormal lump feels like? It does not feel like a normal lumpy breast but it is hard. So I did let my friends and family; those who wanted to felt what my cancer felt like.<br />
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What is the purpose of my post? I just really want you all to take the time to do monthly exams. I don't want my friends or family have to go through what I am going through. It is not easy. Not one step of this is easy at all. I am not the same person I was last year around this time and I wont be the same person next year around this time either. This experience has changed me. It has opened my eyes. It has brought me down and has lifted me up. It has showed me what I am grateful for. Showed me that even though I may have my tough times I have my family and friends who are behind me to help lift me up.<br />
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I am that person. What person you ask? Well I am the my mom's, friends, coworker daughter had breast cancer. Or my friends friends cousin......when you are diagnosis with cancer it effects A LOT of people. People I have NEVER met are effected because they know me somehow. People reach out in ways I have never imagined. I am blessed. I am grateful. I am so happy that I was able to wake up today and continue my fight.<br />
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I want to share with you all something that my Mom's coworker gave to her. It is an eye opened. Its more like WOW!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKkuV3hzQgw2lhUJmZb7AI_XwaK4-UCI7VT1Q1d1cBRiH-Nr0x4p0uh0Wn8JZQWidaRmrVXZz6ajes0cl84y0d88ykHzImrXztOdeEF-tn7CNfLoUp5LUoonO6Wg8I7U8BpLDA87NrOok/s1600/IMG_0558.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKkuV3hzQgw2lhUJmZb7AI_XwaK4-UCI7VT1Q1d1cBRiH-Nr0x4p0uh0Wn8JZQWidaRmrVXZz6ajes0cl84y0d88ykHzImrXztOdeEF-tn7CNfLoUp5LUoonO6Wg8I7U8BpLDA87NrOok/s320/IMG_0558.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is something interesting and this is what is making me write my post. My mom's coworker gave her this key chain. Each bead on this represents the different stages, if you want to call it that. I will explain a bit more about it. But the beads go from largest to smallest.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioW6bioaTygiz9Awtw8ulAxlHqWG7wcEO_ahfMRCvYMMQSbccKBirOBY2j8bkp2lAkt4rPpiic1p_G7DoNW8VO8BnvYZGvarQzlwx03riFyyXz_S_a7WcZrj6DSgct4qrkuWmzkPO9so0/s1600/IMG_0559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioW6bioaTygiz9Awtw8ulAxlHqWG7wcEO_ahfMRCvYMMQSbccKBirOBY2j8bkp2lAkt4rPpiic1p_G7DoNW8VO8BnvYZGvarQzlwx03riFyyXz_S_a7WcZrj6DSgct4qrkuWmzkPO9so0/s320/IMG_0559.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjPtfhSdHM6hl3VgM6MZHvWZviSE_O4L0IxWkSZ-kX4YE0cdAHGhP9-BE1EKcslXnqpkJHMAn8a_DlrHgKJSkLbIGIacPfyCSdggmjJ27b59_I75TvPiTJ65LnDbZ-SgHRkFUU6J6wHU/s1600/IMG_0561.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjPtfhSdHM6hl3VgM6MZHvWZviSE_O4L0IxWkSZ-kX4YE0cdAHGhP9-BE1EKcslXnqpkJHMAn8a_DlrHgKJSkLbIGIacPfyCSdggmjJ27b59_I75TvPiTJ65LnDbZ-SgHRkFUU6J6wHU/s320/IMG_0561.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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As you can see the card says that the largest bead (pink) is what someone would feel who is untrained in breast self exams. So if you don't check your breasts monthly and decide to this is probably the size the breast cancer would be. The bead measures 1 1/2 inches. I want to say that my lump was between the pink and brown bead. Did I do monthly breast exams? No I didn't. Do I wish I would of? Well of course I do. Do I want to encourage everyone to start doing them regularly? YES!! PLEASE PLEASE check yourself. Do it for me, do it for your self. </div>
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The Brown Bead (second largest) is what could possibly be detected for an occasional breast self exam. The bead above that one is regular breast self exam, and the rest of them are first mammo and yearly mammo. Now which would you like to see? Ya of course what a dumb question right? I wouldn't want to see any of these sized lumps in my breast but if you had to choose which size would you want? Me? Personally I would want the smaller ones!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8N9sDR1edrvG5-xC5EgBkuDo8FPJJMz-Tg6OXlgMz-qiQSNLOEOd6CwhE1ZQLibzQNMgdX_8S7Zc-YUxACAJ8cvZicBwL92wnqFGGapc2D0JS592WmkqxI2AGk08O4kAzlJMH0-N3E9Q/s1600/IMG_0562.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8N9sDR1edrvG5-xC5EgBkuDo8FPJJMz-Tg6OXlgMz-qiQSNLOEOd6CwhE1ZQLibzQNMgdX_8S7Zc-YUxACAJ8cvZicBwL92wnqFGGapc2D0JS592WmkqxI2AGk08O4kAzlJMH0-N3E9Q/s320/IMG_0562.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Remember that the beads represent the different size lumps that could be found using these self detection. A lot of what I posted is personal experience. Everyone is different. All I ask is that you educate yourselves and touch yourselves once a month. Make sure your boobies are doing ok. I don't want any of you to have to experience cancer of any type. It is exhausting and life changing. But please do me a favor and check yourself out. </div>
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Well I think I will stop my blabbing on and on. Cancer is no fun. Please all I ask is to check yourself out. I am off now. Time to get some energy since I have been lacking it lately. </div>
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Tata for now!</div>
J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-49190097997743847172013-03-12T13:04:00.000-07:002013-03-12T13:04:04.531-07:00Yahoo! Woohoo! Yeehaw!!So I think I can dub myself the worst blogger ever!! Yes, I sure did say that! I take FOREVER to blog anything and I am sure you all are anxious about what has been going on. I have to find energy and words to type. Some of you are probably wondering how does she find words to type because she never shuts up! LOL!! So here we go for the update! Are you ready? Well I sure hope so and I sure hope I cover everything lol. Also, I do do small updates on my facebook page and I do slack on my for jacqueline group on facebook but I do update! Oh ya and on instagram too!<br />
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So here we go............Valentine's weekend Chuck surprised the boys with a visit. The boys had a good weekend with him and it was much needed. Chuck and I had a good heart to heart talk about everything and it was good. It is nice to be able to talk to him and not have so much pain. I got closure that I needed and we can say that we are friends. It is the best way for the boys that Chuck and I are friends and that we don't have any anger towards one another. So a lot of the things I did find out for me where nice. It was just nice to finally have that chapter closed of my life and now I can move forward. Though I do not like what happened but it did happen and some things in life happen for reasons. I just live my life and go forward with my boys and do what is best for all of us.<br />
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So on Feburary 24th I shaved my head! Yes! I did it! Boy was that one hard thing to do. I wasn't feeling to well because I had my big chemo on the 20th and I had to get my head shaved. My hair was just getting awful. I would wake up and be scared out of my mind to see how much hair had fallen out. I knew it was time for me to shave my head.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpE6tvYCkNmxD-Pq2Eh2qv3XCIWwoU3e96dw0ELLp7elpy9L1oL2EEm3FChyQcXWW4EwYGF5qrdjrMjaN62KUD61ebLlwBBd6ydy0hx_f7iQlmy4qNV8EIuUDZbka9PGZqREtxTx4Alg/s1600/IMG_5223%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFpE6tvYCkNmxD-Pq2Eh2qv3XCIWwoU3e96dw0ELLp7elpy9L1oL2EEm3FChyQcXWW4EwYGF5qrdjrMjaN62KUD61ebLlwBBd6ydy0hx_f7iQlmy4qNV8EIuUDZbka9PGZqREtxTx4Alg/s320/IMG_5223%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXmuZhl1HBp82LX6dhBNZaHaXuiu-2KU1x0Gi5JpmacaZpU1nzpefv64SB2L4utXFjzJHGjcxpqNCQCf44KF3JzK_wKAgYcDrdICdOqvnFXLIjDgHuizg7lxcdLaO_7hTm3bsTRbwPFVM/s1600/IMG_5225%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXmuZhl1HBp82LX6dhBNZaHaXuiu-2KU1x0Gi5JpmacaZpU1nzpefv64SB2L4utXFjzJHGjcxpqNCQCf44KF3JzK_wKAgYcDrdICdOqvnFXLIjDgHuizg7lxcdLaO_7hTm3bsTRbwPFVM/s320/IMG_5225%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
The first photo is my shower and hair combing. So it was getting pretty bad. The bottom photo above is showing my hair thinning. It was just getting to bad for me to watch. So I did the head shaving. I had too! So because of my hair loss and me deciding to shave my head I needed to get a wig. I went and I used my gift certificate that my uncle and aunt got for me and I got a wig. It was a spur of the moment thing because I was feeling very ill from my chemo but I had to get it. I picked out a super cute wig and I do love it!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6HCemzjzYdbQy4TrE9RE4-4apD5-WVRllhq-Uj50y1iEInj49c1BfjsAqKJWRqDG4J1gZUWxVaWCoeSF6d_8qS9XudgshAr7vUH-QDe8zDGj4pQfZiyOnMDNU9Cj7ooLpVOFHaIqq018/s1600/IMG_5489%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6HCemzjzYdbQy4TrE9RE4-4apD5-WVRllhq-Uj50y1iEInj49c1BfjsAqKJWRqDG4J1gZUWxVaWCoeSF6d_8qS9XudgshAr7vUH-QDe8zDGj4pQfZiyOnMDNU9Cj7ooLpVOFHaIqq018/s320/IMG_5489%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
Here is my me in my new wig! I love it! I love it! It is something completely different that what I am use to but hey I can try out new things cant I?<br />
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So now on to the head shaving! I will say that I do not have photos of my head shaving on my phone :( Sorry about that. I had my friend Esha take photos for me and I will share them once I get them. My sister also took a video and I will post that as well. I will say that it was very emotional for me and for everyone there! I had everyone single member of my family, including my nieces and nephew brother in law and Michael cut a piece of my hair. My boys even cut my hair as well! So it was hard for me. I dont have photos but I will post a photo of my shaved head! I will tell you it is a different look. I think I have gotten use to it but not 100%. Most days I am just one boobed and wearing my beanie :) Hey I am not ashamed of how I look or what I am going through. I do get weird looks at times but who cares I am fighting for my life! :) So here is a photo of me bald!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uylBCWzaip6f4Ix40KaQzKaBjzJ6kwGAF8xMf5pQgBZC3Na7XscCV-Jrfi0zn6KVW2W911ZPgRIS9dOdts12dJbFvEKDkwTyky5peFrRu4VLUyuCK1Jzvp_5RnleXaxQEHNrC2OgK84/s1600/IMG_5314%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uylBCWzaip6f4Ix40KaQzKaBjzJ6kwGAF8xMf5pQgBZC3Na7XscCV-Jrfi0zn6KVW2W911ZPgRIS9dOdts12dJbFvEKDkwTyky5peFrRu4VLUyuCK1Jzvp_5RnleXaxQEHNrC2OgK84/s320/IMG_5314%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihK3hKQ99ALT69tiIBpMNZFWIsy28lIDw92MMIega5-q5OzrFjyrx6lXWPLQorZ-erzLsYaX1QDQGxZuNIC6X04i7hyphenhyphen1maANIiedBhf8hZixijUpE_GSY2phOwGPfJA8nOKadDLO1dcsQ/s1600/IMG_5311%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihK3hKQ99ALT69tiIBpMNZFWIsy28lIDw92MMIega5-q5OzrFjyrx6lXWPLQorZ-erzLsYaX1QDQGxZuNIC6X04i7hyphenhyphen1maANIiedBhf8hZixijUpE_GSY2phOwGPfJA8nOKadDLO1dcsQ/s320/IMG_5311%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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See how different the look is? Yes pretty shocking I know! But get use to it!! :) I love the breeze that goes over my head lol! Can't say through my hair anymore so ya you get the point!<br />
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So because of this head shaving my dad, brother in law, nephew AND my son CJ shaved their heads as well. They all did if for a good cause of course!! But for CJ he had to go to school and tell his friends why he shaved his head. He is very cute! He told them that he shaved it to support his mom who has breast cancer and her chem makes her hair fall out. I just love all the support that I am surround by. I couldn't have asked for anything or another family/friends better than what I have!! I have the best of everything! Everything happens for a reason and I am a strong believer in that!<br />
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So the head shaving was the big even that meant a lot to me. I just totally lost my train of thought.....THANK YOU Chemo Brain! Ya! Gotta love when that happens!!<br />
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Now I know there are a TON of you waiting to hear what I have to say so I guess I can FINALLY tell you. I did have more to write but I honestly I totally forgot what I had to say. I had a big spout of chemo brain. So as some of you may know.......oh wait!! I want to tell you about yesterday! So I went to a look pretty feel better class and OMG that was so much fun!! It is a makeup class and they tell you about what products to use and what to stay away from and you get free makeup! Not only do you get free makeup but they show you how to wrap a scarf and do a turban for our beautiful bald heads!! I had a blast there. There where only 3 of use there and the two instructions. It was small and it was lovely. I just loved the atmosphere there. I am glad that I went to that class. I felt great leaving the class.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL70GOk_kEef5PXTsCmK1clR0OGWshGX6hAxH-dfLPs3oZjm584qZql-sFE7LN-9EeFeS6PLDSMJ4_kVOAIo1X7zr5vcSEeoIAUnqzM9xaGPhJn77hA9cOH-E9P3B1XeLqDP0Hpxi2my0/s1600/IMG_5640%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL70GOk_kEef5PXTsCmK1clR0OGWshGX6hAxH-dfLPs3oZjm584qZql-sFE7LN-9EeFeS6PLDSMJ4_kVOAIo1X7zr5vcSEeoIAUnqzM9xaGPhJn77hA9cOH-E9P3B1XeLqDP0Hpxi2my0/s320/IMG_5640%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Make up haul!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZsm8Ytc7saDl-tQ6NycBTiQUsIx4r-eFxJNhwUWutt8xZjlcnRWsAvDzTxjjc6wHZMlmqntKIsgqTEv7xs9ZYUevfK-P-_qNtAGcs5XzFkhXoEMJgS-yyGhrFk0xRIFABP7aPO_Opsw/s1600/IMG_5641%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZsm8Ytc7saDl-tQ6NycBTiQUsIx4r-eFxJNhwUWutt8xZjlcnRWsAvDzTxjjc6wHZMlmqntKIsgqTEv7xs9ZYUevfK-P-_qNtAGcs5XzFkhXoEMJgS-yyGhrFk0xRIFABP7aPO_Opsw/s320/IMG_5641%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdtpxrVUWFS3Xy5ogjUH3vNmcwLKWLB88damh2dUDtZRYv_NjtSAffOm755IH7ln0NJO0BQ_t_jTUT99DrrIWDnR_ObQENqKmzQY8IwxtJTAZb4YAO6p-hTNAsfTCUw-zmCl9uMlBCJZA/s1600/IMG_5652%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdtpxrVUWFS3Xy5ogjUH3vNmcwLKWLB88damh2dUDtZRYv_NjtSAffOm755IH7ln0NJO0BQ_t_jTUT99DrrIWDnR_ObQENqKmzQY8IwxtJTAZb4YAO6p-hTNAsfTCUw-zmCl9uMlBCJZA/s320/IMG_5652%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After<br /></td></tr>
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So all in all it was a great class and I enjoyed it! I would recommend this class to any female cancer patient. <div>
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Soooooooooo.......as some of you know I had my PET scan last Friday and I am scared as can be with these scans. If you don't know about the PET scan it will highlight parts in your body that your cells are trying to fight off. So in my case it will highlight all of my cancer parts. The first pet was very scary for me and I HATE these scans because I just dont want to hear any more bad news! So, last night RIGHT before I went to bed I saw that my pet scan was available for me to see and what did I go and do? Ya I read it! Not the greatest thing to do when you want to get some rest. The medical jargon is just so crazy that I didnt understand half of it! I was a wreck last night! I thought I knew than I doubted myself and I just didnt want to get my hopes up. </div>
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Today I am sitting here doing my LONG chemo! So I will be here all day. After I got hooked up I asked my nurse if she could tell me my pet scan results and she said she would get someone to tell me. Well are you ready for this? I hope you are because I am NOW FINALLY ready to let you all know! It is very exciting and prayers are being heard and miracles being worked! Pretty much the cancer is gone. Its resolving or resolved however you want to look at it!! Yes you just read that! It is very exciting and I am very happy! I will continue to keep going with my chemo and the expected last day is 28 May and than my oncologist will determine what is next! This is what the impression of the PET scan says: </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Impression:</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. Status post left mastectomy.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. Otherwise unremarkable PET/CT scan.</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. In particular, there is been complete resolution of the</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">hypermetabolism within the left axilla, left posterior fourth rib, and L5</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">vertebra with no scintigraphic evidence of residual active breast cancer</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;">in this patient receiving ongoing chemotherapy.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">See you are reading the impression yourself! Isnt this awesome?!?! I think it is! I just seriously want to jump up and down and boogie on down!! I just cant put into words how awesome this is. So that is my wonderful news for the day!!! I hope it was worth your weight. I know you all gave me a good giggle waiting that is for sure.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Also I want to mention that I am doing the Susan G. Komen 5k June 2nd and I am excited for that. I want my team to raise $1000.00 dollars. I would love if you all could help me reach this goal. This is obviously near and dear to my heart. Thank you to all of those who have donated already but please pass the word along. Help my team reach our goal!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">http://pugetsound.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/SEA_PugetSoundAffiliate?team_id=248633&pg=team&fr_id=3015</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is the link to donate to Team Jackie.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">I just wanted to tell you all that I appreciate everyone of you all.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FgEMrrHolGUZXiyhyvIyxtZaja8XvpZbL88-5HagVfPGHmf-w89gU1YolGKE2xAVGAV3V7JCZYqyF2KJhcxo4K1w5ubxxdqHl6b1TJddBo8gCn-46-U-r_AUKzW73VVT8nOuF2WgjqA/s1600/IMG_4999%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FgEMrrHolGUZXiyhyvIyxtZaja8XvpZbL88-5HagVfPGHmf-w89gU1YolGKE2xAVGAV3V7JCZYqyF2KJhcxo4K1w5ubxxdqHl6b1TJddBo8gCn-46-U-r_AUKzW73VVT8nOuF2WgjqA/s320/IMG_4999%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Always remember that I Mustache YOU!!</td></tr>
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<br />Ok now I am off to publish this post. Much love to you all!!!<br /><div>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-35243020193872797752013-02-17T21:15:00.002-08:002013-02-17T21:15:55.355-08:00Chemotherapy!So I know that it has been a long time since I wrote on the blog. Well since the last blog I have had my first dose of chemo and two doses of herceptin. I was very nervous when I went. So what I did was I went into battle in style, well in style for me anyways. I was all in pink. My fighting outfit. Had to get the war makeup on and the war hair. I was wrapped in love and courage from my beanie to my scarf and with my parents being there.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjynB3yoX2rU5-rUZj9ez4TGwqrE4vCLdcPv_1qXD2OmSmgHCmob5gVpBUJ-0lLv9jWFRTzuwwcDOS5JCTbgGxB98aUbjZyxQqFkuGFbHy5DXi0pKvQTq8gaaeYqYgvqrPtS1CSIgjtetM/s1600/IMG_4890%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjynB3yoX2rU5-rUZj9ez4TGwqrE4vCLdcPv_1qXD2OmSmgHCmob5gVpBUJ-0lLv9jWFRTzuwwcDOS5JCTbgGxB98aUbjZyxQqFkuGFbHy5DXi0pKvQTq8gaaeYqYgvqrPtS1CSIgjtetM/s320/IMG_4890%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAWD6Ylm0tKGrG2xloOhklddaGZlxLMT4fgjMWONdKjyre1AyOjra3ze4NARSNB8gYKLOjdgSIHk3Nfk4dKBdkhsP3rHPAHN2Wsxa4-q5v9-24l9W1pSlFTpPsrGaos2TBtveFI_hB-o/s1600/IMG_4917%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAWD6Ylm0tKGrG2xloOhklddaGZlxLMT4fgjMWONdKjyre1AyOjra3ze4NARSNB8gYKLOjdgSIHk3Nfk4dKBdkhsP3rHPAHN2Wsxa4-q5v9-24l9W1pSlFTpPsrGaos2TBtveFI_hB-o/s320/IMG_4917%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a>I wore my F*ck Cancer beanie that my good friend Kyla made, my scarf and necklace that Michael's Aunt got for me and of course my arm band party! Both of my parents came with me. I am not going to lie but I was scared shit less. I was very nervous I didn't know what to think. With me being nervous all I did was talk and talk. I get like that when I get very nervous. I laugh and I talk its better than shaking and crying.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI96r-pQCC15lmgCAp-0ScMd_IO8wOL6dt7wJjbhiLiaAAR40q7utyIRU-cSSEG1VArMcLgLS2mfup80oM-KJWhZnf5M-Sj2s6vAT4TEg-bML5xM7lDJFG7UHPXJtddDRfK1R9JM5cVPE/s1600/IMG_4891%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI96r-pQCC15lmgCAp-0ScMd_IO8wOL6dt7wJjbhiLiaAAR40q7utyIRU-cSSEG1VArMcLgLS2mfup80oM-KJWhZnf5M-Sj2s6vAT4TEg-bML5xM7lDJFG7UHPXJtddDRfK1R9JM5cVPE/s320/IMG_4891%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a> My nurse was awesome. She told me everything that was going to happen and she also answered all my questions. Getting hooked up or plugged in was very interesting. I have a port in my chest. You can feel it. The port is surgically inserted into my vein and its the easiest way than having to get poked in my vein weekly. Plus I only have one arm that they can work with. So it truly beats having collapsed veins. It felt so weird with the needle going into the port and it felt even weird getting it removed. I can't really explain how it feels getting hooked up and getting unplugged. Unplugged is like pulling a pen cap that is stuck. Very weird sensation. I did very well with my chemo meds and the nurses there are amazing and so very sweet. My parents and I had some laughs and what not. I was in a very cheery mood. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3pjx5y6ZWQ9hVqwJJ_z9LpnWsjPRYUyajRt8IkRcJJf8jrfCHJaTPCUHuxdosV41EB_aoEMTUu5qAMMek3SlHX2EQg5zR1rjTru-QZg16aLin5CcvlFf-1oLSyg1JZClOMN81eh2wXA/s1600/IMG_4906%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA3pjx5y6ZWQ9hVqwJJ_z9LpnWsjPRYUyajRt8IkRcJJf8jrfCHJaTPCUHuxdosV41EB_aoEMTUu5qAMMek3SlHX2EQg5zR1rjTru-QZg16aLin5CcvlFf-1oLSyg1JZClOMN81eh2wXA/s320/IMG_4906%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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During chemo I learned how to KNIT!!! How exciting is that?!?! Ya most of you probably wouldn't think that was exciting but it is for me! I have always wanted to know how to knit and I finally get too!! There is a group of ladies that will come and teach people how to knit on Tuesdays. Its called knit for life. I think it is amazing. These people volunteer to teach us chemo patients how to knit. I love going on Tuesdays. I have scheduled my chemos to be during the time these ladies are there. I am doing well with my knitting and I cant wait to learn so much more. It is amazing and yes I am a dork.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg2Kajk89YMr-mzsHn_04px7NhzTIMzMSrOxEJsVxutQN_dPl8AojpH-ZF-MBK02E0g75Bme_zK8O2p707emT-18OrqOuY2IrvWjSe_Dnxl74c3r3C4oaj6SZBmAb55w15Lt3mmc9eUtE/s1600/IMG_4900%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg2Kajk89YMr-mzsHn_04px7NhzTIMzMSrOxEJsVxutQN_dPl8AojpH-ZF-MBK02E0g75Bme_zK8O2p707emT-18OrqOuY2IrvWjSe_Dnxl74c3r3C4oaj6SZBmAb55w15Lt3mmc9eUtE/s320/IMG_4900%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I handed my chemo meds well. It took forever to get this first chemo round down. The picture above shows some pictures of that day. It was nice and I was alright. I didn't feel any side effects until Friday. Now this is just a bit TMI but it is part of my journey. I went from constipation to having to run to the bathroom. I was very exhausted. I had to make myself eat and drink water. I was laid up in bed for four days. Friday I slept ALL day and I only had energy to go to the bathroom and back to my bed. I did not like how I felt. I did get back to feeling good after I got some Imodium. I now know what medicines I can take and I hope that I can control my side effects with my next full chemo round.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuQTewN6-kSivwJJ7QmibhBoNoB2TvhcEbR8CiJRZhUHoPStaEdKV7Qd7hYDWm09E_B5FbOnKYyy-Hh8OoBGIVecj_i5ppDRF9rRWkS7oi9D2cpoT-fgRNAI_Zs7YWkgbkH8-GY0dnRTE/s1600/IMG_4993%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuQTewN6-kSivwJJ7QmibhBoNoB2TvhcEbR8CiJRZhUHoPStaEdKV7Qd7hYDWm09E_B5FbOnKYyy-Hh8OoBGIVecj_i5ppDRF9rRWkS7oi9D2cpoT-fgRNAI_Zs7YWkgbkH8-GY0dnRTE/s320/IMG_4993%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a>So I had my first chemo round on the 29th of Jan and than I had a dose of herceptin on Feb 5th and 12th. The herceptin I do really well with. I feel great after I have those chemos. I love just the herceptin, lol. I call just my Herceptin my easy chemo. I only have to stay there for 2 hours and its quick. When I went on the 5th I got extra fluids for all the diarrhea I was having. I am getting use to all the nurses there at the infusion center and I love how positive all the nurses are. They love what they do and you can tell that they love what they do. </div>
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On my firs chemo do we found out that the nursing assistant that works there when through chemo herself. She was diagnosed with cancer at 17 and she is almost five years without cancer. I love seeing positive things like this. It gives me hope and will power. Its nice as a cancer patient to see someone who works there that understands what us patients are going through. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKcZ9cMgttltHZg_7EGIALMU4n8_ApIVspwykp7KkijFqMJQHMsRL35nIsaddHE3o3uN2PY3T-ArbZMI3c7R0WylUfp8Ag501v2CH-1r4kN0OV8wYIQji-W0cWzulXpRvS1KGbgv81d5s/s1600/IMG_5114%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKcZ9cMgttltHZg_7EGIALMU4n8_ApIVspwykp7KkijFqMJQHMsRL35nIsaddHE3o3uN2PY3T-ArbZMI3c7R0WylUfp8Ag501v2CH-1r4kN0OV8wYIQji-W0cWzulXpRvS1KGbgv81d5s/s320/IMG_5114%5B1%5D.JPG" width="222" /></a> I do try to go in for my chemo treatments positive whether I feel good or not. I know that I need to have the positive vibes. I do always feel the love when I go in for my chemo treatments. I really don't do much but just chill in the chair and wait til I am done. I read, crochet, knit, talk, surf the net, etc. It is pretty boring at times but hey what can ya do? I go in this Wednesday for my second round of chemo, my big chemo. I am a bit nervous with this second round because of all the side effects that I had with my first round. I am hoping that I am able to control these effects better. I am not looking forward to not having any energy, to drink, eat or even walk. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLp90DsDJlpkIrR_2DA8n9HUMplCr6UHgnFqlpYkarb06wuGbZTF3pwQ1a0y0M6VLyk3DuRBNkA6Ni15LxcNy9-OgFGKJvLKtJ1kZD2vZtiv29qjNo3d4l3aS23rqMgLStElMbP1z3nI/s1600/IMG_5185%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLp90DsDJlpkIrR_2DA8n9HUMplCr6UHgnFqlpYkarb06wuGbZTF3pwQ1a0y0M6VLyk3DuRBNkA6Ni15LxcNy9-OgFGKJvLKtJ1kZD2vZtiv29qjNo3d4l3aS23rqMgLStElMbP1z3nI/s320/IMG_5185%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
So are you wondering if I still have my hair? Well, I still do have my hair. I have not shaved it off yet. I am a bit iffy about it but I know I will have too. My scalp does hurt like I have had it pulled back in a tight pony tail all day. It tingles and hurts. So to answer this question, yes my hair is falling out. It started out with a little bit and it has been increasing in the amount that comes out. I can feel my hair thinning but I am still not yet ready to shave my hair. It is sad to see but I am not 100% ready. I know I will be here soon but I am not right now. So much hair falls out it is crazy that I still have any left. I have A LOT of hair so losing as much as I have hasn't really shown to much. Yes I can tell by the thickness, that has decreased. Other than the thickness of my hair it is still there.<br />
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I hope I am not missing anything because it has been some time since my last post. Oh wait I just remembered. I found out that I do not carry the Breast Cancer Gene!! That means that I do not have to have my other breast removed and I do not have to have my ovaries removed either!! Ok now I think I have updated everything. If I am missing anything or you have any questions let me know. I will answer your questions. I have been keeping busy with crocheting and it does help me. I do get in sad moods but I do snap out of them. I have an amazing support group and you all do help me get out of my funk. I appreciate everyone and all the encouraging words. Well until next time! I will do better at this blogging.</div>
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Fighting Like a Girl!</div>
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-25953604543466011972013-01-22T10:07:00.003-08:002013-01-22T10:07:27.462-08:00I'm Terrified<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One week from today I start my chemotherapy. I am terrified. I am not going to put a smile and tell you all that I am not scared because the truth is is that I am terrified. This is one of my hard days if you can tell just by the first couple of sentences. I do not feel like I am prepared at all. Some days I wish I would wake up from this horrible dream but I have to remind myself that this battle I am facing is my reality. This is a short post. I just needed to get this out that I am terrified and I do not know what to expect. If any one has any advice please let me know. Advice in regards to chemo. Things you wish you would of known or had with you to prepare for what is to come, if that makes sense? Well I hope you all are having a wonderful day. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.</span>J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-28773828545563369692013-01-17T16:37:00.000-08:002013-01-17T16:37:10.850-08:00It's NOT temporary!!So I keep hearing it's only temporary, it's only temporary. Listen here! It is NOT temporary. I lost a part of me that makes me a woman. A part that I was able to use to feed my children with as infants. I not only lost a part of me but I also lost range of motion in my arm. Yes a breast may be just a breast to some of you but look MY breast will never be my own again. Yes I will have another breast BUT it is not the one I was born to have. The new breast will be one that was made to help me feel more like a woman after my own breast was taken from me. I didn't have a choice as to whether I could keep my breast or not. It had to go. I am sorry but it is not temporary issue. I will deal with the loss of my breast for a very long time. Every time I will look at my chest I will be reminded of what was taken.<br />
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As for the range of motion issues what is that ask? I had 15 out of 20 lymph nodes removed from my armpit. I do not have the ability to extend my arm fully above my head. Will I ever be? I don't know. I have FIVE lymph nodes in my arm pit and you probably have 20 (all of them). I will never be able to have any procedures done on my left arm. I may get lymphedema (google it). My arm can not excrete any access fluid that what is naturally produced in my body. I don't have a working left arm like probably most of you do.<br />
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So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not tell me it is only temporary. It is not. I have a life time of struggles with this that I will have to overcome. I know that you all are trying to help lighten my mood and get my spirits up but I can't take it. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. Clothed or unclothed, I just cant face what is looking back at me. I look deformed. It is hard. I am not going to lie. I probably only look at myself for MAYBE 30 secs a day and that is to brush my teeth and my hair. I don't even look in the mirror when I wash my hands. I can not stand to see myself right now! I know it is sad but it is the TRUTH. It is the UGLY truth<br />
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I am opening myself up here. I promised you I would take you with me along this journey. And I am keeping that promise to you all. This is the UGLY of the fight for my life with cancer. If you have a weak stomach than don't look at the photos below. I am going to show you what I have to deal with. What my body looks like. What cancer took away from me. It is not pretty but this is the reality that I am living. So MAYBE when you want to say, "It's only temporary" you will think twice before saying it. If you have a weak stomach do not look. I am being open with you all. I am showing you all what I am going through. If you want to comment with something rude than just don't do it. I don't need it. If I see it I have no problem deleting it.<br />
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.Don't go further if you do not want to see the pictures I have posted. This is the ugly truth that I get to live with. Please do not be offended by these pictures. This is part of my journey. An obstacle I have to overcome.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPdAtonvzy28vM3i8nyjJgZZ3FZI8x3lJF8td8bYYZmk4HevoQAipkLEypjgJ_gZcvt0KdvgeHwuQoeSeVFb5mHNSl_9cWPlPVabtt5583VXETyxP4oyIOOFD4Yh5uHv0dCorQ4MvFUrM/s1600/IMG_4539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPdAtonvzy28vM3i8nyjJgZZ3FZI8x3lJF8td8bYYZmk4HevoQAipkLEypjgJ_gZcvt0KdvgeHwuQoeSeVFb5mHNSl_9cWPlPVabtt5583VXETyxP4oyIOOFD4Yh5uHv0dCorQ4MvFUrM/s320/IMG_4539.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how I look in clothes. I am lopsided. Excuse my mess on my shirt.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWu3CVd0qANtrmKLLmZOaExtL4wooZT9aMpOnU8PMkhEMfV2OuknFeUsFhOsy2bUR2H-pY3kGb-o_m_tqHSbiK_yRi22ToP3mFxazMEGsiTyMFQeo4nwqbmpHpXDptHVMBDDnr7fkVsw/s1600/IMG_4511.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWu3CVd0qANtrmKLLmZOaExtL4wooZT9aMpOnU8PMkhEMfV2OuknFeUsFhOsy2bUR2H-pY3kGb-o_m_tqHSbiK_yRi22ToP3mFxazMEGsiTyMFQeo4nwqbmpHpXDptHVMBDDnr7fkVsw/s320/IMG_4511.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how I looked wrapped.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_gGJFZBnyaLQKZaDPT6ZyRBHDFolmjFUb7QkYIZ4rojw0NT-skaK1E3aRc_AxZg64C-x4IPzciYbWTOJLoAeb-MFFVBM_g0Gqjj0NFOjOBtCbgiVTS2MAPMmXVw3ErBE8mQXS_frVz0/s1600/IMG_4512.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_gGJFZBnyaLQKZaDPT6ZyRBHDFolmjFUb7QkYIZ4rojw0NT-skaK1E3aRc_AxZg64C-x4IPzciYbWTOJLoAeb-MFFVBM_g0Gqjj0NFOjOBtCbgiVTS2MAPMmXVw3ErBE8mQXS_frVz0/s320/IMG_4512.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What I face every time I take the bandage off.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7jayFeligDuXv8MsV9_y3UZV8KMHQvLBBeT_y0BNESE_gTgLeGzFf2znLGjSNVWSm6zbBtvwdvMQn3ESdtk3MGdtACUZa8hA_h_xBlWUrGpQFXo3ysyD5JA6htHh5fNN558M2aXQzL9w/s1600/IMG_4513.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7jayFeligDuXv8MsV9_y3UZV8KMHQvLBBeT_y0BNESE_gTgLeGzFf2znLGjSNVWSm6zbBtvwdvMQn3ESdtk3MGdtACUZa8hA_h_xBlWUrGpQFXo3ysyD5JA6htHh5fNN558M2aXQzL9w/s320/IMG_4513.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More of the ugly truth. See how far it goes?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDYk1rxI7WIfpm3-EWTzKk_Fz9FrME9nX_v638AxHNVEFoE2Mw1UBeVeJRfZZ3a0s1z4obB8NNXo4AyZIgPez8soF6u1Ev5KV8KvWS44bKt1QHUrRJDLXgTRuYVCE7iHKIqS7RCevFl9I/s1600/IMG_4578.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDYk1rxI7WIfpm3-EWTzKk_Fz9FrME9nX_v638AxHNVEFoE2Mw1UBeVeJRfZZ3a0s1z4obB8NNXo4AyZIgPez8soF6u1Ev5KV8KvWS44bKt1QHUrRJDLXgTRuYVCE7iHKIqS7RCevFl9I/s320/IMG_4578.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can't sit here and tell me this is temporary.</td></tr>
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<br />J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-17390346409666252112013-01-16T11:24:00.000-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.557-08:00The good, the bad and the ugly!<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let's face it ,cancer is not pretty at all. It is a nasty illness/disease that people get and it royally sucks. It sucks for the person who got suckered punched in the stomach with the diagnosis and for their family and friends who feel helpless. Sometimes I wish that I am just dreaming a nasty night mare and I will wake up and be like man that dream sucked. But the reality is, is that I do have cancer and I am not dreaming. I am living in one of the worst nightmares ever. Yes I pick up my feet and I keep walking by taking one step at a time but that doesn't mean that I don't wish that it wasn't me. I know/feel that I can beat this but still its going to be one of the hardest battles I will ever have to encounter. After all this is said and done there is nothing that can or will stop me from achieving whatever it is that I want to achieve.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So far with having to face this scary disease I have encountered the good, bad, and some of the ugly. I want to share with you all everything that I am going through. I never promised that it was going to always be good. I do want to try to post positive stuff but lets face it, I will have bad days. I want to share these bad days with you all. I want to show you all the rawness that one deals with. But it wont all be ugly or bad. Battling cancer will not be a cake walk. It will not be easy. I may fall a few times here and there but let me tell you all of your support will help me get right back up and continue to fight. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have had plenty of people tell me that if I need anything to let them know. If you know me you know how hard it is for me to ask for help for anything! I am trying to figure out ways for those who want to help can help even with being so far away. I do know that my mom is making a few things related to breast cancer and all the money that is made will go to me to help with anything I need help with. Anything that I make from selling items in my shop will help me out as well. I am looking at ways to have people donate if they wish too. I am a single mom of two very special little boys who mean the world to me. It is hard on me and on them. I am not working and I had to stop going to school to focus on getting healthier and fight this cancer. I will post more info when I get it all set up and what not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So back to my topic. This past weekend was very hard on me. I don't know why but it was. I was very excited that I could lift my left arm up a little more. Since my surgery I haven't had full range of motion with my left arm. I start physical therapy for that here soon! So I took a shower and was hoping that I could finally shave my left armpit (sorry tmi) but I couldn't lift my arm enough to even try. It is weird not being able to feel what you are doing. I am not going to lie I cried. I finished my shower and once I got out I just started bawling. I do not like the fact that I can't do something so simple as just shaving my armpit. I don't like the fact that I can't do a nice stretch when I wake up in the mornings. I do not like being limited. I went from a person who could stretch and shave her armpit to someone who is restricted. It is not easy but I am hoping that I can get back to a somewhat normal range of motion with therapy.So I cried about that! I know childish but it is the truth!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was just an emotional wreck that day. I thought I had pulled it together by the time that Michael came and got the boys and I but I didn't. I cried on the way to lunch and I cried while we were having lunch. I don't like talking to much about my breast cancer unless I am the one talking about it. I don't want people to look at me as a cancer patient. I want them to look at me as me! I don't think anyone will ever know how much cancer effects a person. I get in my moods when I don't want to talk about anything. I get in my moods when all I want is to just be hugged. I get in moods where I just stare off and I don't even know what I am looking at let alone thinking about. No one will ever know what losing my breast has done to me. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I am uneven on the chest. I will always have my scar right there! Ya I will get to have reconstruction and I will get new breast but the reason why is not how I ever imagined getting new breasts. I had no choice in the removal of my breast. It had to go! I didn't have a choice to say oh lets do chemo and see if it'll shrink. Nope I didn't get to say that. There was no choice because my nipple was involved in the cancer. I can't put into words how upsetting it is to lose a body part. I joke around saying I have a boy chest on the left side and a woman's chest on the right side. I am trying to cope with the loss and it is hard. But it is one step to fighting the cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So Saturday just wasn't my day at all. I just wanted to get out and be busy doing something, anything. Well for some reason we had to be back at my house by 4:30 and I was a bit upset. I didn't want to watch football. I didn't want to be home at all. I wanted to be out and about enjoying what I could. I just didn't know what was so important that we had to be back at 4:30. I was doing my best to be happy. To seem ok but I just wasn't. I was irritated that my day out was cut short but I had a whatever mind set lol. My sister was going back and forth with phone calls and the laptop. Had no idea what was going on. So I ignored it and went on with whatever it was I was doing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Than one more call and my mom was called to the front room and they took the football game off the TV. They were doing a skype call. I figured they were messing around and I wasn't very please. Well than the picture popped up and it was my family in California! There was a lot of them and they were wearing pink. I still didn't have a clue what was going on. They asked where I was and I went to the computer and said hi. Well it was a surprise skype call for me. My family was showing their support! I am crying as I write this lol because it means so much to me. They wanted to show their support even though we are so far away from each other. They planned the get together and the skype call. I was able to talk to everyone and heard all the words of support and love. It was absolutely amazing. I cried. It touched my heart and I am so happy that I have such an amazing family and such an amazing support group. This is not the first time someone in our family has battled breast cancer. This is the third time that we have battled breast cancer. This is not the only cancer my family has had to battle either. I have a strong line of fighters and survivors in my family and this gives me hope. Hope that I will beat this and join them in the survivor category. I love my family and they are the best. Here are a small amount of photos that I snagged from my cousin Noemi. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thanks for reading my post. Smile and don't take the little things in life for granted. Take care of yourself because you never know if tomorrow it will turn to the worse.</span>J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-74309473008110568612013-01-16T09:52:00.001-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.572-08:00Sometimes.....<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I lay at night in my room listening to my boys sleep while I weep.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I ask why me? And wonder if I am strong enough for what is ahead of me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I wonder if I will know when it's time for me to go if it is my time to go at all.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I sit and cry for my boys, family and friends who are having to see me go through this.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I think about all the what ifs.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I forget that I have this evil thing in me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I wonder what I did to have to deal with what I have.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I cry for myself. Haven't I been through enough?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I feel like my life isn't my life. That it is someone else's life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I look at pictures from a year ago and cant understand how or why it went from bad to worse.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I look at these pictures and wonder who the lady is looking back at me is?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I wish I was the old healthy me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I forget what lays ahead of me in my journey.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I lay in bed and cry because that's all I can do.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes........</span></div>
J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-61979277776320392032013-01-11T14:20:00.000-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.570-08:00Another information OverloadOh yes, yesterday was information overload! I had my Oncology appointment in the morning yesterday to hear what my oncologist wanted to do. We talked about the two most common chemo treatments and what he thought would be best. I listened to what he was saying and made my decision. The first Chemo cocktail contained 4 drugs that would be used and one of them would cause heart failure. With me being young he didn't want me to get heart failure way before my time and I agree. So we went with the second option and those side affect are: tingly, numbness in the fingers and toes and hearing loss. I will take those over early heart failure. So it was a lot of information being thrown at me. I honestly forgot how many cycles he said it would be. I do know that my chemo session will be about 5 hours.<br />
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So here are the drugs that we will use for chemo. I will be on Herceptin (indefinitely) and this medicine knows exactly where to go. It will target just the cancer cells. The other two medicines are Carboplatin and Taxotere and these two target everything. So these medications are the ones for chemo. It seriously is/was total information overload.<br />
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I also know that some of you are wondering about the MRI that I had on my spine and I did ask my oncologist about the results. Well the PET scan did show a spot which was a hot spot on my L-5 so I was sent to have an MRI on my lumbar. The MRI did show the spot. My oncologist said that it is a possibility that I may have cancer on that spot. They can not be 100% sure if it is cancer or not unless they do a biopsy. Well my oncologist doesn't want to do a biopsy because its close to a nerve that they do not want to damage. So through out chemo he will keep an eye on it to see if it stays the same or shrinks. We won't know what that spot it. This past summer I did mess up my back and it was very painful to sit down so who knows it could be that but like I said we don't know.<br />
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I go back to see my oncologist on the 31st of this month. I hope that we start Chemo that day. If not than we will be sure to schedule my chemo. I will do my Chemo first and than radiation and that I will be taking hormone replace me for the rest of my life.<br />
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I also want to tell you that yesterday I saw my surgeon and I got my drain taken out!! Woohoo! That was very exciting but eh!! The feeling of it being removed was so weird but so glad that it is gone! I do have to get a fitting for the silicon insert that I will need so I need to make an appointment for that. Oh and I have to schedule my Occupational therapy for my arm. That was a pain to try to find a doctor who treats lymphodema.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnb7f8tbRCbhmlHaPLF8UpMgYO9472ZgnEXfAvp6UTjiOW10-PZ6v0y_cIv7ZnhCZotzqfptibDVyU5U8RN0mh2m6JmY6ZTjbPIkejthFD07renG-sr2y8CJ-L5NEpxYwrC4it6FR1o5s/s1600/IMG_4488%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnb7f8tbRCbhmlHaPLF8UpMgYO9472ZgnEXfAvp6UTjiOW10-PZ6v0y_cIv7ZnhCZotzqfptibDVyU5U8RN0mh2m6JmY6ZTjbPIkejthFD07renG-sr2y8CJ-L5NEpxYwrC4it6FR1o5s/s320/IMG_4488%5B1%5D.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting the drain removed.</td></tr>
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Thank you for reading my posts and thank you for all your support you all are the best. I will be showing you all everything during my journey. This will be all about the good, bad, and ugly that I am going through so there will be some post that may be hard for those with a weak stomach. Love you all.<br />
<br />J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-82946333593210400432013-01-04T13:44:00.000-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.580-08:00My Journey of SurgeryOk I am feeling good enough to get on a computer and to write a post. I know it has been a week since my surgery but I am feeling better. This post is going to take you on a journey of the 28th of Dec to now. I will post some pictures. If you have a weak stomach I am sorry. I am posting photos so hopefully they are not to bad for you.<br />
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So Friday, December 28, 2012 was the day of my surgery. I got up at 5:00am and my mom, dad, brother, sister and I were out the door at 5:30 am to get to the hospital at 6am. Yes I was very nervous and I really didn't sleep that much the night before! So we get there and we check in. The guy at the check in counter was very nice! The hospital is pretty nice itself!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTrXcO91Q3vZz1UknbwrXM2dpxsPN2FQgJvfRFSYPm6jEHaA2Q04hBmPk5Gpt9rO74SAnX_IhQBGfvA8D5hbr_CZ8dZez2FolBQevLAQ1gq9FCil7pidxJUOct8dWwgsfApmu1ijD2Q4/s1600/IMG_4335.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTrXcO91Q3vZz1UknbwrXM2dpxsPN2FQgJvfRFSYPm6jEHaA2Q04hBmPk5Gpt9rO74SAnX_IhQBGfvA8D5hbr_CZ8dZez2FolBQevLAQ1gq9FCil7pidxJUOct8dWwgsfApmu1ijD2Q4/s320/IMG_4335.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Here is a nice little water display thing that they had in the waiting area and my wrist band. I didn't wait to long before I got called back. My mom went back with me to get ready for surgery. I was only allowed one person so she came back there.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgelLS9fRnBmH9nlCdlPOCFpTY5C3QIxmU2TYBBcKdGLjHBJD-E7hSPE6EV-c6b7jDSU_6SNALUx-6TH6JfRi_0Ar1RWTglMPuP9SHrNUmcAVir79o8cleapRsCYpryay-uKVkXRCFtM/s1600/IMG_4339.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgelLS9fRnBmH9nlCdlPOCFpTY5C3QIxmU2TYBBcKdGLjHBJD-E7hSPE6EV-c6b7jDSU_6SNALUx-6TH6JfRi_0Ar1RWTglMPuP9SHrNUmcAVir79o8cleapRsCYpryay-uKVkXRCFtM/s320/IMG_4339.JPG" width="320" /></a>So we go to the back where I am getting prep for surgery. Lots of questions and everything! I get my cute little hair net on and I have like four warm blankets on me because I am FREEZING!! But I was trying to stay as relaxed as I could. I was updating my group and letting everyone know what was going on. </div>
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So I get my IV in (YUMMY). It didn't hurt to bad because I got numbed up BEFORE they put it in which was pretty cool. As you can see I am all tagged up with my bracelets so they know who I am. I got to talk to the anesthesiologist too before I went under. She was very nice and sweet. Felt very comfortable too. She offered me a sedative to calm me before I went in for surgery and I was all for it!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIEabn5buQctjq_Ub_jMBuTWTLsA3CQfMoNRKKYh_gT76JNtkeQRHpGrcOmNIE-RS-QTCJjhJ_i9fjMmGsrfa_YDcO5bMZzAOTh0_GrQFnIvhn3nah0i1SFqwWwGMmqiBQs_Ag0oI-o2A/s1600/IMG_4340.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIEabn5buQctjq_Ub_jMBuTWTLsA3CQfMoNRKKYh_gT76JNtkeQRHpGrcOmNIE-RS-QTCJjhJ_i9fjMmGsrfa_YDcO5bMZzAOTh0_GrQFnIvhn3nah0i1SFqwWwGMmqiBQs_Ag0oI-o2A/s320/IMG_4340.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVe124E6qaZUkferuvK872FcjWqdvyewIG3_KmBZNWm0RNc4EBpl3QH0DYgI_9IytKf7wh66AqxizMfH1oEhzYYSGJdWDk8pFRfc_oGQk3b6ip-7rBDrdT6pyMvCvSTjxrSODRYqbAElg/s1600/IMG_4341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVe124E6qaZUkferuvK872FcjWqdvyewIG3_KmBZNWm0RNc4EBpl3QH0DYgI_9IytKf7wh66AqxizMfH1oEhzYYSGJdWDk8pFRfc_oGQk3b6ip-7rBDrdT6pyMvCvSTjxrSODRYqbAElg/s320/IMG_4341.JPG" width="240" /></a>So as my mom and I are sitting in the room relaxing as best we can we hear over the intercom Dr. Cho has arrived. I am her first patient!!! Holy crud its almost time!! Ya kind of getting jittery now! So she comes into the room and I let her know that I decided just to do the left breast only and not the double mastectomy, That I know I can choose to have the second one removed later on and that I just want to get the left breast done and over with so we can start with Chemo. So she marks me! There is the mark she drew on me so she knows to that that one only! My own little tattoo from my surgeon lol!! So after the surgeon and I talked she went to the OR to get ready and the nurses came back into the room to get me ready to head back!</div>
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I can honestly tell you that I don't remember a lot of things once I was wheeled back to the OR. I said my I love yous to my sister, brother and parents but I thought it was before I went back into the waiting bed area lol. But I did tell them bye and that I love them according to my mom who wasn't all drugged up like I was. The next thing that I remember is that they switched me to another bed and I was laying to down and they asked me to move up on the pillow and that is ALL I remember lol.</div>
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So the cool thing about this hospital is that they having a paging system and they have a update on the surgery. So my parents knew what was going on during my surgery and they had a special number for me. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnTODOm7RlM6Zp2LZmokYnmuHN_oHd5EGTQ3aLGI9-BrCu86E7Byww_80TxKJq52Bim0qxOu5JXmB_qYHujI2-yQH8vys5eZ-rHawIyocAAvtuK6r-Y6lXoZzvyUVJXyHFh-t9Aqy3MQ/s1600/IMG_4342.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnTODOm7RlM6Zp2LZmokYnmuHN_oHd5EGTQ3aLGI9-BrCu86E7Byww_80TxKJq52Bim0qxOu5JXmB_qYHujI2-yQH8vys5eZ-rHawIyocAAvtuK6r-Y6lXoZzvyUVJXyHFh-t9Aqy3MQ/s320/IMG_4342.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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My mom kept everyone posted through Facebook I told her that she needed to keep everyone posted on my phone to let them know what was going on. She did it and she did a good job, Thank you mom! So the next thing I know is that I am waking up to a nurse asking me if I am doing ok and if I have any pain. I wasn't in the recovery room to long. I was having some low blood pressure and some tachycardia. I got sent to my room and it was nice to be out of the recovery area.</div>
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I was so hungry that all I cared about was getting some food. Ya well I got food but I couldn't keep it down!! It was the worst feeling EVER!! I hate throwing up! I tried a banana but as soon as I got up to use the bathroom the banana came right back up! I couldn't sleep, my mind was just going a million miles a minute! I got some stronger meds for my nausea and once that worked I could EAT! I was very happy when I could eat. </div>
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My younger sister Sonia, my sister Vickie, my parents and Michael came and saw me on Friday. But I wasn't much of a host. All I wanted to do was sleep. Once I got my Xanax I was able to sleep and that was very nice. My friend Dee stopped by on Saturday and visited me! I was not expecting it at all but it was very nice. My Aunt Noell and my Tio Ruben also came and saw me Saturday.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AFb6WGqVduswJJ0icftZioIR1Pk6vwbkZoILJ5re09F7Y4UEBwq8i3_XO1xWIIwh1Flq_7sGOqjLL3Vku3YTNFW_FZ7pHOhWC0KyE18qLUk86whJ0MjcJGROlSBUWkGDq_FxEg8BlFs/s1600/IMG_0066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7AFb6WGqVduswJJ0icftZioIR1Pk6vwbkZoILJ5re09F7Y4UEBwq8i3_XO1xWIIwh1Flq_7sGOqjLL3Vku3YTNFW_FZ7pHOhWC0KyE18qLUk86whJ0MjcJGROlSBUWkGDq_FxEg8BlFs/s320/IMG_0066.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the Nurses put a note on my board. Or at least I think it was one of the Nurses.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CokX7xMydDrgVJuEHKkMOwLKdp9KiIrBg-fhZTAn5ndJlzWJmf0O815WoY2pvsk6Mr-4r0Fs-GpoPQwgehejosMQtkhgl52JDv9-scQ6DL0114Xxtyg7wq_HqW7aGe8-0-zzVySGrgE/s1600/IMG_0068.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CokX7xMydDrgVJuEHKkMOwLKdp9KiIrBg-fhZTAn5ndJlzWJmf0O815WoY2pvsk6Mr-4r0Fs-GpoPQwgehejosMQtkhgl52JDv9-scQ6DL0114Xxtyg7wq_HqW7aGe8-0-zzVySGrgE/s320/IMG_0068.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me in my bed happy that I can eat!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifz8436zqIz4BsVaCNTYvvkvM14zgLhdTqueOubEjyUcFWe0u7ELrYXaZHOMjRJTZQ0ZRtbJ8XK9ZWnV9FB9O-Rws01eI8KmQue5OJbuNto7F_CgK7x0eJXHKPxKEu9me838nSFaq4aUw/s1600/IMG_0069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifz8436zqIz4BsVaCNTYvvkvM14zgLhdTqueOubEjyUcFWe0u7ELrYXaZHOMjRJTZQ0ZRtbJ8XK9ZWnV9FB9O-Rws01eI8KmQue5OJbuNto7F_CgK7x0eJXHKPxKEu9me838nSFaq4aUw/s320/IMG_0069.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom and I</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyIZ1mTKsN0K69WWuvjuABCJgZUmyDmNOXgVvaoe8mFxElfNvY8UMkvikOsbM0fSLAH2p8b5_FrSkEm11sLmUAKzdb-KNdqPjccQd1mXUXgy5NUNBhgxDxpYHIoMNI57RRhL4cAnmQeU/s1600/IMG_4358.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyIZ1mTKsN0K69WWuvjuABCJgZUmyDmNOXgVvaoe8mFxElfNvY8UMkvikOsbM0fSLAH2p8b5_FrSkEm11sLmUAKzdb-KNdqPjccQd1mXUXgy5NUNBhgxDxpYHIoMNI57RRhL4cAnmQeU/s320/IMG_4358.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what my chest looks like. It isn't pretty and I am sorry about it. I don't like it either but the majority of the cancer is out. You can see the bruising. The other two bandages is where my port is at.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BF6IwUjxVc96nZIRUDNip_7CfCIy90GJZRfvHbAjVcpzVL9NrLakLOqi4blXXquXInTdiTDzZeuBNzMKopOdUjhL5Lt8WEgkNi1FWhx4A6RPitqFnXpzAFQeuxEm45BgwzNnaeCxyvw/s1600/IMG_4344.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BF6IwUjxVc96nZIRUDNip_7CfCIy90GJZRfvHbAjVcpzVL9NrLakLOqi4blXXquXInTdiTDzZeuBNzMKopOdUjhL5Lt8WEgkNi1FWhx4A6RPitqFnXpzAFQeuxEm45BgwzNnaeCxyvw/s320/IMG_4344.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My bar scan! Oh ya! This was kind of cool. Every time they gave me medicine they scanned me! Woot woot!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnD1jrJM2tciIwiEat9MIzfrOLtjyMfah0qK-4tqojG3ZAzCpaSjAVqHSkfGWpmw6K97htFrcN0hbgku7bLBmaFhKc_ZjbnvN1zbYCNPx7K3ivx7985A-AgHOKM_T6xxKXhAnaUDyyR-I/s1600/IMG_4356.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnD1jrJM2tciIwiEat9MIzfrOLtjyMfah0qK-4tqojG3ZAzCpaSjAVqHSkfGWpmw6K97htFrcN0hbgku7bLBmaFhKc_ZjbnvN1zbYCNPx7K3ivx7985A-AgHOKM_T6xxKXhAnaUDyyR-I/s320/IMG_4356.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahhh the EVIL IV is finally out. It was starting to hurt really bad!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZoL8r63vg-1AMxEjlDK0bof4Gm72Mdyrhl8SKaeYaivCdkcqm2AjfFbDDSzQbaOqbuW8Mqvsuy32l7kD_fh1_iiq2DiA8G9EzD5IrTlcWof97jWVVb4atFJKt8aDAFHSlk1q2MHnOkZo/s1600/IMG_4359.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZoL8r63vg-1AMxEjlDK0bof4Gm72Mdyrhl8SKaeYaivCdkcqm2AjfFbDDSzQbaOqbuW8Mqvsuy32l7kD_fh1_iiq2DiA8G9EzD5IrTlcWof97jWVVb4atFJKt8aDAFHSlk1q2MHnOkZo/s320/IMG_4359.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Side view of my chest, You can see how much of the breast tissue was taken. ALL of the breast tissue was taken. You can see the indentation.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Being wheeled out</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yay! Out of the hospital on the way home!!</td></tr>
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So I am still recovering from my surgery. I had to stop taking my pain meds because they were causing me some horrible headaches!!! I am not loopy anymore and I don't have anymore horrible headaches!! I am moving my arm so I don't get stiff but it's getting better. I had my post op today but I will write about that later I am getting tired and need to go rest.<br />
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Thank you everyone for all your prayers and comments. You do not know HOW much it means to me and how much it has helped me get through all of this so far. You all are the best!<br />
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J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-79144195832951798872012-12-27T16:48:00.002-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.575-08:00Preparing for tomorrowSo tomorrow is the day of my surgery and I am trying to prepare as much as I can. So first off I will ask everyone how was your Christmas Holiday? I had a great time. It was so nice to be surrounded by love ones. My younger sister made it home on Christmas day to spend with us. It is very nice having her. My WHOLE family is here all together. There are a total of SIX kids. So on Christmas day it was us SIX kids, my two kids, my older sisters four kids, and my parents. The only one we were missing was my other niece! Just my family alone is enough!! We didn't do much on Christmas day since we opened our gifts Christmas eve night. I actually took a nap!<br />
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So not it is the night before my surgery and I am antsy. I feel confident in my surgeon BUT what I don't feel confident is in me. I have struggled with self image issues for a very long time and it has been hard trying to accept me for me. I am in a point in my life where I am ok with me. Now that I am having surgery I am afraid of what I will think of myself. Will I nit pick every little bit about my missing self? How am I going to react. I was texting my friend Sam earlier today and I was talking to her about how I was scared. I told her that I was worried about how I will see myself after surgery and she told me "...But you'll still be a beautiful woman and nothing less." But what if I don't see myself like that after surgery? It is a battle that I will face tomorrow. So I pray that I do not change in how I see myself. I pray that I will be able to see me how Sam and everyone else sees me.<br />
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I also know that there are many of you wondering if I have heard back about my MRI results. Well here is the thing.....I have my MRI results in BUT I do not know how to read them. No I have not called my Doctor to have them read them to me. Why you ask? Well......let's just say that I am scared of what my test results are. It has not been nice to me in over a month. I feel like each test I do the results before worse then the one before it. So instead of getting my results before my surgery I am just focusing on my surgery. I will ask for my results after my surgery but I do not want to go into surgery if it is bad news. I want to be high spirited and focused to get this cancer out and start healing. So when I am on the mend, after surgery is done, I will ask about my results. Yes, I know kind of strange and odd. Right now the MRI results of not knowing isn't really bothering me. I will get the results and deal with what it says after my surgery.<br />
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I want to also share that this past Saturday my dear friend Esha took photos of the boys and I. She showed a sneak peek and I can not wait to see the rest of them!! <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Esha-Hart-Photography/274020213402?fref=ts">Esha Hart Photography</a> is her fan page on Facebook. Check her out. So I will leave you all with the picture that she shared on her page. Thank you for praying and keeping me in your thoughts as I travel through my journey to beat the beast out of me.<br />
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P.S. Mina if you are reading this I absolutely LOVE my scarf! Thank you so much!!</div>
<br />J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-34142197855420521362012-12-20T16:41:00.002-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.558-08:00Rejoice!!Wow is all I can say!! Thank you everyone for keeping me in your prayers. I can not explain how grateful I am to have all of you in my live and how much of a blessing you all are to me. Today I had my oncology appointment and we were told the results of the MRI of my brain. As many of you know that my results showed that there was nothing on my brain!! Talk about a weight lifted off our shoulders! Oh gosh it is WONDERFUL news!! I am SOOOOOO very happy that there is nothing on my brain!! It was and still is good news.<br />
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My Oncologist has brought us hope. It is very nice. Now I have to get a MRI of my spine/lumbar to see if there is cancer on my bones. Please lets pray that it is not there! My surgery is still scheduled for next Friday the 28th. I had my MRI for my spine scheduled on the 27th BUT I just got that changed to tomorrow!! Woohoo! Thank you insurance for approving so quickly and for me checking!!<br />
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Please continue to pray. Prayer is amazing and the Lord is hearing our prayers. God is good and is in control!! Thank you everyone for all the prayers and positive thoughts. Love you all. (Yes, short and sweet and good news.)J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-4451521820893835902012-12-18T11:27:00.001-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.564-08:00A little bit of HappinessI know that all of my posts haven't been the best of news and I don't want you all to think that all my blog is going to have is negativity. That is not the case. I know my mental isn't the best and we haven't received the best news. What can you do about it? take it in stride, stay positive and keep moving forward! I have a positive outlook and I believe. So I want to share some happiness with you and let you all know that I have been able to smile and laugh through this hard time in my life.<br />
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First off I want to mention that I am so blessed to have an enormous amount of people behind me. People I have NEVER met in my life but only know through the internet are cheering me on and love me to pieces. So many people are praying for me and sending positive vibes/energy my way. I can not tell you all how thankful I am to have all of you. I do not know how to put into words how much everything you all are doing means to me. I feel like I have a huge hug embracing me every single day. I get so teary eyed because of all of the support I have. Thank you all so very much you all mean the world to me. My family...omg.....I don't even know where to start....this has made us soooo much more close than ever.....we have strength we never knew we had and we KNOW that we will make it through this.<br />
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Okay so enough of my sappiness let me share some happiness with you all. Yes this is going to be picture overload!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2rLsdV-2DJqqax3zHOlpzJbTBVzubo7oOwwntIUeP7Uv__CJmsEuWsK1Gl0f5Qh5Q-Nb7sz8OSUN5Ul5aT6fWcidtN9zuCxUfG4CLZl6DG_PjB5DK4j31zOWoNq5D0LAieX4tM32Tdo/s1600/bdaycollage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2rLsdV-2DJqqax3zHOlpzJbTBVzubo7oOwwntIUeP7Uv__CJmsEuWsK1Gl0f5Qh5Q-Nb7sz8OSUN5Ul5aT6fWcidtN9zuCxUfG4CLZl6DG_PjB5DK4j31zOWoNq5D0LAieX4tM32Tdo/s320/bdaycollage.jpg" width="320" /></a>Ok so here we go.....Dec 15th is the day my friends and I celebrated my 29th birthday. Michael and Heather S put it all together and it was perfect. Monica, Jason, Alex, Heather F, Sallie, Josh, Michael and I we all went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant called El Charro and it was good. Before that Michael, Josh and I walked the super mall to kill some time and I saw Rainbow Brights Horse! So cuddly, soft and brought memories back! Oh and I added my hair process lol! I felt BEAUTIFUL that day and that is pretty rare for me to feel but I did.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5sLolYsAUH_8oiOcCgzorWoLzM9Lc5i_fitNDFz9KTaR-qfxblhGjg3cR2MThtHJ7Syy_rCJstNYLA3WbSC4jCbI9Ufibd18NqnHqM9heVX2yL_rTx_0P_GSiJeLnkpXSyzpORBplqU/s1600/bdaycollage2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB5sLolYsAUH_8oiOcCgzorWoLzM9Lc5i_fitNDFz9KTaR-qfxblhGjg3cR2MThtHJ7Syy_rCJstNYLA3WbSC4jCbI9Ufibd18NqnHqM9heVX2yL_rTx_0P_GSiJeLnkpXSyzpORBplqU/s320/bdaycollage2.jpg" width="320" /></a>So after dinner we headed of to Heather S and her Hubby Mike's house to let the celebration continue of course! She had balloons up and some munchies and wine. We played some board games which is always fun....at least to me anyways! We played apples to apples (I need to get this game!) and we TRIED to play cranium but that ended real quick. So we did dance revolution or something like that on the kinect. It was fun!! Yes I did make a fool out of myself with my NON dancing skills and of course Heather beat me with all her years of dance! Nonetheless it was so much fun!!<br />
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We had wine and I tried a new kind and it was super yummy. Looks like it'll be a long time before I can enjoy another glass but I can wait! That night was so perfect. We had so many laughs. I seriously laughed til my abs hurt and OMG I can't remember when I laugh so much and that hard. It was so very fun and amazing.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHmntdcHGw1M_CbM_o67ZX9LbggE2qTIBcfrzXXiCzJ9GNYmRyFp9_cbF7Mj5Qx5wlkrVR3pnS3ph_T41DWCyfdbwb09D262b5rUd9bOy7BY730v9VeKtn4qnRqxL2I-JCziC1TBNYzRk/s1600/bdaycollage3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHmntdcHGw1M_CbM_o67ZX9LbggE2qTIBcfrzXXiCzJ9GNYmRyFp9_cbF7Mj5Qx5wlkrVR3pnS3ph_T41DWCyfdbwb09D262b5rUd9bOy7BY730v9VeKtn4qnRqxL2I-JCziC1TBNYzRk/s320/bdaycollage3.jpg" width="320" /></a>Oh did I mention that I got a ICE CREAM cake from DQ?!?!?! Well I did! It was AMAZINGLY GOOD!! I love ice cream cake from dairy queen! I munched and drank a few glasses of wine. I am VERY new to wine drinking but I do like to find other sweet wines to give a try to add to my love of moscato! I think the wine I tried that night was called Sweet Red and it was yummy goodness!! I think i have 3 or 4 glasses before I had to stop myself lol. I didn't want to get super drunk or anything.<br />
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So these next couple of collages that you see here are just photos I took with my phone from my party. I want to say that everyone had a great time and I hope that they did. There was tons of laughs that is for sure. It was really nice being around so many people who care and love me!<br />
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Oh and during the night I left my phone on the game table to go to the bathroom and get another glass of wine and Heather got a hold of my phone! You will see her with the faces she made. Oh and she made one of her pictures my phone background photo. Oh Heather the photo is still the background of my phone. It makes me laugh every time I see it.<br />
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So another cool thing too about this night is you see that breast cancer ribbon ornament on the Christmas Tree? Well Heather and her Husband Mike do not know how they got that ornament. It was just there just like the bracelet she gave to me. It is very crazy and cool and I just cant think of all the words but I think it is amazingly awesome!<br />
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So another thing that we did was we went Geocaching (I hope I spelled that right). I have heard of it and I have wanted to do it with the boys. If you don't know what it is it is like treasure hunting. There is a site where they log in the geos and you follow and find with a gps app on your phone. It sounds awesome. There was one very close to Heather's house so we went! It was pretty neat. This one was a log of who all went and found it. We wrote 12/15/12-Jackie's bday Holla! lol. I want to go find more now! It was fun!<br />
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So here are all the gifts that I have received! I got a Keurig!! Woot woot! I have wanted one FOREVER and I FINALLY have one. So I got the Keurig Machine from Michael and Josh, The Carousel and pretty ceramic coffee cup from Heather and her Hubster, I got the my coffee k cup and so vue cups from Alex and Heather F, I got a sweat set from <span style="color: red;">Sallie</span> and I need to add another photo. Grrr....I swear I took the photo but I cant seem to find it. But from Monica I received a SUPER soft blanket that is red and says love all over it with Hearts between each Love, 2 skeins of SUPER SOFT yarn, a bag of Ghiradrelli chocolates, and some spa bath and face stuff! This was all from my party I had on Saturday. My mom, dad, and sisters got me that nice soft and fluffy Black jacket! Michael's aunt got me that beautiful pink scarf that I wear everyday, my cousin made me that Breast Cancer blanket. Michael got me my green leather planner with the matching journal and this has helped me keep track of my appointments. I also was nominated and received a lucky elephant bracelet! I purchased those rose flowers and they have breast cancer ribbons hanging from them! I also want to mention that a group of my crochet ladies also send me gifts as well!! I was very surprised and just overjoyed! Love you ladies!</div>
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Seeeeeeeeeeeeeee there has been happiness through all this mess!!! I love you all and I love everything you all are doing for me! Mom, Dad, Brother, Sisters, Michael- Thank you for being my rocks!! Family and Friends all over THANK you for lifting me up and helping me smile through this rough time! We WILL make it through this!! I will do EVERYTHING I can in my power!!<br />
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I love you all!! Thank you!J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-79529514025697506952012-12-17T17:09:00.000-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.577-08:00PET Scan: The results<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Please excuse the tears. I tried my best to keep it together.J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-53366879325927048362012-12-15T10:58:00.004-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.568-08:00PET ScanYesterday I had my PET Scan done. Nothing to big really. I mean all they were doing was checking to see that the cancer hasn't spread or anything like that lol. My appointment was at 9:45am and I was there on time! I got called back into the inject/prep room. They did a finger prick and tested my blood sugar and it came back 83. The nurse told me that was perfect! My dad went with me and OMG he talked and talked and talked lol. He was actually funny!<br />
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So the nurse leaves the room to go get my radioactive sugar! Oh ya!! She comes in carrying a HEAVY Lead box. In that box is the radioactive sugar. Holey moley kind of freaky. She than pulls out the radioactive syringe and that has a lead case around it as well!!! It was very weird but of course all the lead is for protection! I didn't feel it going in but I did feel the saline and I just hate that feeling!<br />
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She left me to be for 45 mins and those were some LONG BORING minutes. I couldn't talk or move much. I had to relax as the sugar circulated my body. So I just surfed the net on my phone. I was bored! I was wrapped up in blankets too....and bored.<br />
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The test was once again do not move. I did my best to not move and with my arms up above my head. My arms went numb blah!! Well I did my best to not move but I guess I twitched my nose not knowing. At the end I had to get my head re-scanned.<br />
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I was released to go and eat and boy was I hungry!! I ate so much!! The diet was no fun at all. I was starving! The above picture is what I left of my meal. I was overly stuffed!!<br />
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Oh ya I won't hear my results til Monday when I have my surgery consultation. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!J.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-976671839443691322.post-14544322249461402202012-12-13T12:12:00.002-08:002013-01-16T11:43:51.555-08:00Holey Crap Loaded with AppointmentsThat is right! I am getting loaded up with appointments. Last week the only appointment that I had for myself this week was my radiation consultation. Since Monday that has all changed! I had two appointments for the boys this week but I also got scheduled for a PET Scan tomorrow (Friday). This scan is to see if the cancer has gone anywhere else in my body. I am on a diet today and OMG it sucks. No carbs or sugars so I am very limited to what I can eat. I can have tons of veggies and meats as far as I know, oh and lots of water.<br />
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Next week I have FOUR appointments!! AHHHHH!!! Monday, my birthday, I have TWO appointments. One is with a plastic surgeon and the second is with my surgeon who will be performing my mastectomy. So this is kind of a big ordeal. My surgeon Dr. Cho called me and we talked about all the possibilities Of course my insurance wouldn't have any In network plastic surgeons who work at Valley Medical. the hospital I'll be having my mastectomy done at. I could go with them but I would have to pay 50%. If I pick a doctor in network I don't pay anything, the insurance covers 100%. So I did find someone in network. So here is what my surgeon told me. I could have a new surgeon do my mastectomy; mind you one who hasn't been in the know since my diagnosis; and I could have the plastic surgery done as soon as the mastectomy is done with OR there is another option. The second option is that I can go with Dr. Cho and have my mastectomy and wait at a later date to get my reconstruction. As far as I am concerned I love my team of doctors I have. I feel very confident in them. I do not want to deal with a new surgeon who I do not feel comfortable with. So I will be one boob jack for a year :( it makes me sad but I think this will be the best in the end. The best cosmetic results have been after treatment is done. I will have a silicon implant (insert) to wear under my shirts so on the outside I will look normal but of course I will not be underneath. So I am going to go with Dr. Cho for my surgery, I just feel confident and comfortable with her since she has been there and she of course was the one to give me my diagnosis. I know I may have some physiological issues to deal with but that is why I have my therapist.<br />
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If my scan comes back negative for cancer being spread elsewhere we have my surgery scheduled!! Yes it is exciting BUT it is also nerve wrecking at the same time! My date as it stands right now is 28 December 2012. That is in TWO Weeks!!Am I prepared? AHHHH NO and I mean that as a BIG NO!! I want to get my treatment started so lets all pray that my scan comes back negative for cancer spread! I do not want to have to deal with that on top of everything else. I need good vibes, all kinds of positive things sent my way!!<br />
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So I have my surgery consultation on Monday along with my plastic surgery consultation too. Thursday I go back to see my oncologist and my Therapy session is later on that day as well. AHHHHH.......all these appointments! Its getting closer and closer to my journey! Excitement and nerves are rolling high today. I am excited but sad and that is fine!! I can be both! Anticipation at its finest! Well this is my update so far!!<br />
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Think positive thoughts, send positive vibes and positive prayers that Breast Cancer is the only thing I have to deal with. Pray that it didn't spread elsewhere. Thanks everyone.<br />
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XOXOXO,<br />
MeJ.Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13860651517595581930noreply@blogger.com0